Chicago - Former Playboy Playmate and actress Jenny McCarthy says she is no longer romantically involved with Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher. McCarthy, who is from suburban Chicago, released a statement Friday that said: “Brian and I have decided to turn our romance into an amazing friendship. I will continue to be the biggest cheerleader for him.” The 34-year-old Urlacher is recovering from arthroscopic knee surgery. He says he expects to be ready for the Sept. 9 opener against Indianapolis.
Damn Jenny McCarthy doesn’t mess around huh? I mean has there ever been a more emasculating send-off then “(We) have decided to turn our romance into an amazing friendship. I will continue to be the biggest cheerleader for him.” Ouch, bro. That one’s gonna sting. Almost sounds like a consolation letter. Like he wasn’t handling it that well so they sat down together and wrote it out while she was peaking over at her phone texting her new squeeze to get the anal beads and rubber fisting mittens ready. Poor, poor Brian. Probably walked out of his doctor’s office all psyched last week that he was gonna get sympathy post-knee procedure blow jobs for a few weeks before flattening Andrew Luck’s face during Week 1 and now his Playboy model girl drops him like a bad habit and apparently skipped off to Vegas to celebrate afterwards. Dude just needs to get on the field and start busting fuckin heads like Bobby Boucher ASAP.
PS – Is there any reason to play Urlacher Week 1 against the Colts? Why not let him rest the knee up an extra few days before the Packers game instead of playing him twice in 5 days? Makes no sense.
PPS – Did you think I was joking when I said rubber fisting mittens?