Trust me, the initial Google Image search for this blog was absolutely horrifying. This pic is way better.
Officers responded to a report of two male subjects passed out in the stairwell. The responding officers discovered two students covered in fecal material from head to toe. During the investigation, the officers noted neither student comprehended the questions asked nor where they able to reply. Austin EMS treated the students at the scene and transported them to a local area hospital for additional treatment. Charges for Public Intoxication and Consumption of Alcohol were filed. Charges for Improper Disposal of Human Waste were not filed.
Isn’t it kind of fucked up they charged these dudes with public intoxication and consumption charges? Like if you were to list out the worst possible punishments for a college kid for getting outrageously hammered you’d think it would go 3) Expulsion, 2) Jail time, 1) Get covered head to toe in human feces. In which case, even if you want to really send a message here and hit them with the harshest penalty imaginable there’s no point because THAT ALREADY HAPPENED. I mean you can rebound from even the worst social snafus in college within like a week or so. But lathering up in a bunch of poo like it’s SPF 45 on a sunny day is pretty much the worst thing you could ever do.
Well, that or rape. Rape will definitely get you un-invited to a few parties.
PS – Just a reminder to applicants for the Dirty South blogger position. Probably not a good idea to hit up our tips inbox with your blog. We got a few that we read but I hope you guys sent them out to other sites around the network. Can’t imagine a quicker way for you to get taken less seriously than to have me like your work and suggest it to Pres.