I was your cocktail waitress 3 weeks ago at the rooftop. You were there on a Wednesday night with your friends(?) or clients from work. You said you worked for GS, but you might have just said whatever. I mean, what does a dumb bitch like me know, right? You flirted with me and asked me what I did other than work here and I told you I’m in acting school. You were really hot in that asshole lacrosse kinda way with your blonde hair and broad shoulders, maybe 29, 30. You followed me to the bathroom and grabbed my tits and hair pushed down. I got on my knees and sucked your cock. I didn’t know what else to do. Then you blew a load on my face and stuck a $100 bill on it. You walked out without saying anything, when I straightened up and came out your table already settled. And left me a nice tip. I wish you left me a card but you probably didn’t want me to know your real name or where you really worked.
I’d just leave it at that, and apply it to my acting, but the trouble is that I really liked it. You made me feel like a fucking cheap chinky whore. I wanna do it again but you don’t need to tip me. Get in touch, please. We don’t have to date. I just really liked pleasing you.
Well I know what I’m doing the next time I’m out at a restaurant and there’s a hot waitress! The answer: Probably nothing because I’m pretty broke and don’t have a cushy finance job where I can stick $100 bills to waitresses faces after they blow me in a bathroom. Not to mention that would never happen anyway because I’m pretty gross looking and a huge pussy. BUT, if I was rich and attractive and not un-attractive and could pull off making a waitress clean out my pipes without saying a word to her and then cum-glue a Benjamin on her face I totally would. Like every time I went out I’d do that. It’d be my signature move like “El Barto” or the Wet Bandits leaving the sink running. Just a total power play in every way imaginable. Guess I’ll have to settle for striking out with chubby Applebee’s girls while dangling a crisp $5 spot in their face. Not a bad legacy I guess.