Barstool Sports

(Source) Beware of strangers bearing bats.

Ten-year-old JoJo Keefe of Spencer, Massachusetts was with her family at a local park last week when she and some other children noticed a small bat that had fallen from a tree, WHDH reports.

Keefe says that a nearby woman picked up the bat and asked the children if they wanted to hold it. The woman allegedly encouraged the children to hold the bat even when they were hesitant. “Another little girl said, ‘I want to hold it will it bite me?,’” Keefe told CBS Boston. “And the lady was like, no it’s the friendliest thing ever.”

The woman told the children she had a degree in bat biology, according to the Daily Mail. She has not yet been identified.

The children began passing the bat around, but when it reached Keefe, it bit her finger.

When her mother, Maria Keefe, found out what had happened, she immediately put the bat in a bucket and had animal control officers test the animal for rabies.

It was good that she did, because the bat tested positive for the deadly virus.

Keefe has now undergone rabies shots and is expected to be fine. However, officials are concerned for other children who may have handled the bat, WCVB reports. Even if no one else was bitten, a child could have been infected if the bat’s saliva made it into a scrape, cut, or the child’s nose, mouth, or eyes.

After such a frightening experience, Keefe won’t be touching anymore wild animals anytime soon.

“All the other kids were saying it, ‘Oh it’s really sweet,’” she told WHDH. “‘It doesn’t have rabies, it won’t bite.’ Then it bit me, it had rabies, and it wasn’t sweet.”

You know what’s crazy. Even with the benefit of hindsight if I’m this little girl I think I’m still petting that bat. Its sort of like when the Mega-Millions jackpot got to 600 million earlier this year. Everyone you knew was getting in lottery pools and splitting groups of tickets. I must have been asked to be in probably 20 pools. And did I say no to any of them? Of course not. You can’t say no, because the one you say no to will be the one that wins and then you’ll be kicking yourself in the dick for the rest of your life.

Well this is the same thing. Is there a chance that bat has rabies? Sure. But what if that Bat has superpowers like the Spider from Spiderman? Ever think of that? What if meeting the homeless lady with a degree in “Bat Biology” is how your life as a superhero starts? Sorry, I just can’t rule these things out when making flash bat petting decisions. Maybe “smart” people pass on petting random animals handed to them by strangers but I sure as fuck don’t. The upside potential is just too great.

PS

Not to mention if Kevin McCallister taught us one thing (and he taught me more than both my parents combined), trusting homeless ladies that can talk to flying animals will always work out in your favor.

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