Barstool Sports

The Sun - The 36-year-old has sparked outrage with ludicrous claims he can give polio and cancer the boot with his “holy knee”. The tubby, tattooed evangelist has a dark past, having sexually assaulted a seven-year-old boy when he was a teenager in Canada. He added: “Jesus was a controversial character too. We just felt it right at the time to bring the guy

One shows him kicking a polio sufferer’s leg over and over while asking the man does he feel himself being cured.

Another shows him shoving a man in the stomach with his “holy knee”, while yet others show him talking about “exploding” cancer tumours at a service and how he beat and choked a man to exorcize the devil.

The Fresh Fire Ministries church cleric claims the Holy Spirit orders him to boot people. “The Holy Spirit spoke to me, the gift of faith came on me, and said, ‘Kick her in the face with your biker boot.’ I inched closer and I went bam!” He adds: “Just as my boot made contact with her nose, she fell under the power of God.”

Can I get an Amen!

Now this is how church should be done. No more of the same old prayers and sermons that have been around for centuries. That’s shit’s way boring. Doesn’t get anyone riled up anymore. It’s time to get up close and personal with the congregants. What you need is a guy like Todd Bentley roaming the aisles, scoping out the scene. Searching for polio and cancer patients and offering up some swift, brutal medical treatment with a roundhouse kick to the legs or picking out snot-nosed kids and delivering a holy knee right to their fucking jaw. Walk into church with a terminal disease and a punk kid and walk out with a brand new lease on life and little Jimmy’s face wired shut. Shit sells itself.

Bottom line is you have to forget making people fear god. Nobody fears god anymore. Dude hasn’t shown his face in a minute. It’s time to fear god’s messengers walking among us, and there’s no better shepherd in the game right now than Todd Bentley. Guy’s got the Holy Spirit on speed dial and if you doubt it for a single second well get ready for a steel toed biker boot right to the face. That’ll make you feel in touch with god real quick.