» Jeff Samardzija, HARDOOOOOO Barstool Sports

Get mad Jeff, get fucking MAD! That .128 average isn’t going to fix itself.

In all honesty though I love this move. Cubs have lost like a billion games in a row. They just got swept by the fucking Padres for christ sakes. Show us you’re still alive. That’s all I ask. I want bats being broken, I want Starlin to say his current slump is the worst moment of his life (no joke he really said this, kind of thought growing up in the Dominican drinking diarrhea water was the worst moment but whatever). Being terrible is one thing, but being terrible with no heart is something completely different. This team at least has some semblance of heart, something you couldn’t say for the past few iterations of the Cubs.

PS
If I was in the MLB I would pre-cut all my bats like they do with tables in the WWF. I would literally break every bat I ever had. It would sort of be like “my thing”. And I know what you’re thinking, Big Cat, that’s pretty sweet of you. Well guys, that’s just how I roll. Doing sweet shit 24/7/365

By Big Cat posted August 9th, 2012 at 9:35 AM

Top 2 Comments

19 comments Sort by Popularity Sort by Date

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by whereyafrom on August 9, 2012 at 9:43 am
breaking your bat would be a sweet "thing" to have. along with a .000 batting average because you pre-cut all your bats like a retard. and yes, i understand sarcasm and bullshit like that. but i usually appreciate it more when its funny, ya know?
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by whereyafrom on August 9, 2012 at 9:49 am
dudebro. awesome name
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by whereyafrom on August 9, 2012 at 9:53 am
i said something wasnt funny, then complimented someone who told me to kill myself. totally cwanky.
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by whereyafrom on August 9, 2012 at 9:54 am
but dont worry guys, im gonna go kill myself, continue being a fag, fuck my mom and any of the other bad ass insults you guys have prepared. the cwanky thing was over the line though..
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by whereyafrom on August 9, 2012 at 9:55 am
damn i spoke too soon. suck a hard one is top notch.
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by broclanders on August 9, 2012 at 10:39 am
No one did it better then BO Jackson breaking the bat over his head. CUBS suck, they should be dissolved or moved to the mexican league or something.
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by emoney23 on August 9, 2012 at 10:54 am
whereyafrom suck a hard one
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by bearjew on August 9, 2012 at 11:03 am
Notre Dame Blows...Jeff and Brady cant live without eachothers penis in their life
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by fartininboston on August 9, 2012 at 11:15 am
fire that dickhead!!!
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by Will I am Not on August 9, 2012 at 11:28 am
whereyafrom= HARDO of barstool chitty
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by hello on August 9, 2012 at 12:28 pm
Hmmm, I wonder why bearJEW hates notre dame.... pathetic blog, by the way. the whole world knows the cubs suck. the PITCHER breaking his bat is not badass.
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by acecal on August 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Wow, an overrated athlete out of Notre Dame. That NEVER happens
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by billman on August 9, 2012 at 2:39 pm
The shark don't fuck around
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by dudebro on August 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Whereyafrom, kill yourself.
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by billman on August 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Whereyafrom is a wittle cwanky today guys, leave him alone
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by valbroski on August 9, 2012 at 4:56 pm
I agree with whereyafrom, who the fuck would pre-cut their bats? It doesn't even make sense.
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by castrateneil on August 9, 2012 at 6:23 pm
I saw Jeff pitch in person and he's filthy ... Got some disgusting stuff .. He shuts teams down but the problem is the cubs hitters suck ass and give him zero help ... If he were on the reds he'd have 12-13 wins by now
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by kingpin69 on August 10, 2012 at 2:40 am
Castrateneil get off Jeff's dick and kill yourself with whereyafrom you seem cwanky too
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by castrateneil on August 14, 2012 at 7:51 am
Kingpin69s girlfriend fists herself with hammers
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