Source - German firemen rescued a mysteriously naked man trapped in a narrow chimney in central Berlin, a spokesman said yesterday. The fire brigade was alerted to the emergency after police failed to help the 39-year old man who was wedged 10 metres down the shoulder-width chimney. “The rescue workers, specialised in saving people at great heights, tried to pull the victim out from above with a crane and a sling,” a fire brigade spokesman said. “At first he held on to the rope but then his strength failed him so we had to come up with an alternative.”
The team of about 30 firemen and 10 police officers bored a hole in the second floor of the building and managed to pull out the victim but not before he had lost consciousness. He needed 15 minutes of resuscitation and is still in hospital. “He suffered from injuries in the fall and due to his scant clothing — namely his nakedness — he became very cold,” the spokesman said. The rescue operation took just under two hours but it is unclear how long the man had been in the chimney before police were first alerted to his cries of distress. It is not known what the man was doing on the roof. Some media reports said he was homeless and escaped from a hospital. “The first question was is the man sporting a red cape and a bushy white beard?” the fire brigade spokesman said.
Alright just all around a pretty fucked up story. I guess that tends to happen when naked homeless men try climbing down people’s chimney’s like some fucked up and deranged drunken Santa Claus. But I guess the main concern here is what was this vagrant’s end game? Okay you take all your clothes off, climb up to someone’s roof, start crawling in their chimney, then what? Like what the fuck are you doing up there bro? Were you planning on living vertical for a while, just floating there? Because the laws of gravity are going to work against you there almost every time. Like 9 times out of 10 you’re going to fall in, scrap your dick and balls to shreds and get stuck screaming for your life. Real confusing behavior coming out of the homeless camp. Just hoping this doesn’t become a thing because I get spooked when I find out a squirrel is in my chimney. If homeless fuckers from the Barrio start migrating to my apartment I’m probably gonna shit my pants.