Barstool Sports

Georgia - A Georgia couple is building a $3.5 million indoor shooting range that will feature a full bar, serving alcohol to its patrons. WSB-TV reports that Lakeside Guns Shop owner Kristina Brown plans to open the multimillion-dollar indoor range with her husband in Powder Springs. That’s because by a vote of 4-1, the Powder Springs City Council approved an alcohol permit for the establishment. ”I mean, that’s just stupid,” Traci Hart, mother of three, told the station. “We don’t need drunk people running around in and out of the neighborhood.”

There’s a bit of relief for those opposed to the idea and a potential letdown for anyone planning to put a new spin on the shot glass. Brown sent WSB-TV a statement clarifying that once someone has ordered a drink in the lounge, they will not be permitted to enter the firing range: “Customers will have to order a drink with their identification card and once the card is accepted, and flagged, they cannot be checked back into the range that day,” the statement reads. Still, Brown and her husband are not naive about their unique sales pitch. The rest of the statement goes on to add, “Georgia Law allows persons with gun permits to bring their weapon into a restaurant that serves alcohol, we are taking it even a step further.”

Awesome. Unbelievable nobody thought of this before. Kristina Brown you’re a goddamn genius babe. If I had to think of one downside to drinking it’s that the things that are the most fun to do intoxicated also have a pretty high chance of leaving you and those around you dead, in jail or pregnant. Driving, sexing with chicks in the gray area, eating an entire pie from Lou Mal’s, shooting off semi-automatic weapons, all of that is totally looked down upon by society.

But now the Lakeside Guns Shop has changed the game for us fun-loving drunk degenerates. Now there’s a place where indiscretion gets to run free and wild. Where unchecked inhibition reigns supreme and laws cease to exist. What better way to release the beast inside than to slam home a few shots of JD and run around firing off rounds with a 9mm? It’s like McLovin shooting up a storm with the cops in Superbad but totally legal and safe. It’s way better than falling asleep at your laptop jacking off to Bang Bros after striking out at the bar that’s for sure.

Just, for the love of god, keep these out of the ghetto. That’ll be Armageddon in a minute.