Source – Robert Swift…refused to leave his foreclosed-upon mansion, barricading himself in a home strewn with beer cans, tacky paraphernalia, and Chevrolet El Caminos with missing engines. The best case scenario, considering the visible bullet holes and preponderance of beer empties, has come true. Swift has left the house.
Jesus christ what a bunch of mellow dramatic downers. “A life of promise leaving behind the tarnished hopes of what could of have been”. Uh, yeah okay Hemingway. You’re talking about a dude who left high school, went straight to the NBA, made millions of dollars and fired assault rifles in his basement while apparently eating Domino’s and pounding booze every fucking day of his life. Oh how terrible. Literally 99.99% of people on Earth would kill for that life. Not to mention Robert Swift is an UGLY, gangly looking motherfucker:
No chance he wouldn’t have been a serial killer if he wasn’t 7 feet tall. I’d say life has been pretty kind to the dude so far.
And what’s up with the guy and his frumpy Asian wife complaining about the condition of the house when they moved in? Hey idiots you ever here of Try Before You Buy? Might have been a good idea to peek inside the crib for a minute or two and make sure the floors weren’t covered in dog shit and there wasn’t AK-47 shell casings lining all the walls or anything like that. Just a suggestion for next time.
PS: I will concede that this picture is more than a little unsettling: