First child’s pose. Annnnnd downward facing dog. Now let’s try starfish up the butthole. Good good. Back to child’s pose. Try to find your center.
Poseidon’s wrath for pretending to be exercising when you’re really just stretching knows no bounds. Because that’s all yoga is. Vigorous stretching perpetuated by dudes who want to see chicks stretching. I wonder what the ratio is on people who watch yoga Youtube Channels that are actually do yoga versus dudes jerking off to chicks doing yoga? Maybe 20/80? I mean, if you’re a chick what benefit do you get from watching another chick do yoga on a rock in the ocean while foamy discharge laps at her thighs? None really. Spank bait if I’ve ever seen it. Shameless.
That’s why the ocean gotchya, bitch! Just start an instagram page doing your special stretches and save yourself the danger of a rip tide sucking you and the cameraman who looks like he just got back from Bonnaroo out to sea.
Like these girls: