Houston- Last night Jessica Cooley of the Lufkin Daily News broke the story of Angela Buchanan, a 30-year-old woman evidently smitten with a 51-year-old lady. Buchanan and the woman had been messaging each other for the past seven years via Yahoo!, during which time Buchanan claimed to have survived breast cancer in 2008 and to have had twins via in vitro fertilization while living with a former girlfriend. According to an Angelina County arrest affidavit, in March, Buchanan started contacting the woman posing as “Doc,” a Lufkin gynecologist with whom Buchanan claimed to have a sort of mother-daughter friendship.
What Doc messaged the 51-year-old was chilling. Buchanan had a pre-cancerous mass in her breast. The best course of treatment, “Doc” advised, was for Buchanan to spike her natural hormone levels through having sex. Lots and lots of sex, specifically sex with the woman reading her messages. It was the best way to try to save Buchanan’s life. The woman later told police she had religious qualms over the relationship at first, but soon overcame them to try to save Buchanan’s life. Under the online supervision of “Doc, the women started having sex regularly.
Angela Buchanan you goddamn genius you. I mean is that all it really takes? You just claim terminal illness and sex is the only cure and chicks will do whatever you want? You just pull on their emotional heart strings a little bit and say you’re dying of cancer and they just come crawling to your doorstep in a negligee and some anal beads ready to fuck you back to health? Maybe even do a little girl on girl if the disease is terminal? Well shit I don’t even need to create a fake doctor identity like this chick did to convince a girl I’m about to buy the farm. Just gotta lay my Tom Hanks in Philadelphia face on a stable of girls and say the only way my cancer/AIDS hybrid can be cured is through a sterling combination of all night blowjobs, tantric sex and a few carpet cleaners and I’ll be in like flint. Sorry ladies but it’s the only thing that can save Chemo from chemo.