Barstool Sports

Chicago Tribune – Anthony M. Nugent, 37, has been charged with felony aggravated battery and possession of cannabis following the assault on a 16-year-old female who was walking in the 900 block of S. Home Avenue in Park Ridge at around 5 p.m. Wednesday, police said. Authorities said Nugent approached the teen and asked her what she was carrying in her black case. Nugent followed the teen and began acting aggressively when she refused to show him the instrument, police said. Investigators said Nugent then grabbed the teen by the neck and head and threw her to the ground. A struggle ensued between the girl and Nugent and during the struggle, Nugent grabbed at her shorts and ripped them, police said. He then struck her several times on the buttocks with his hand, police said.

He was also charged with possession of cannabis, police said. They also said that Nugent was arrested in Park Ridge in June and charged with disorderly conduct for pulling fire alarms in a building in the community.

First things first: Yes. Yes, this looks like a guy who tries to spank random teenagers. You don’t have to be some facial recognition expert to recognize the guilt look all over his face. My dog makes the same exact face whenever she pees the floor or tries to eat my shoes. Reeks of shame and embarrassment. But that’s besides the point. The real issue here is his fashion. Because I don’t know what the bigger crime is: Sexually assaulting a 16 year old girl or trying to rock a cut-off sleeveless polo shirt while you do it:

What a preposterous look. I’m no fashion guru but that get-up is flat-out insensitive. Too loud, too abrasive, too much clash. Get your gear right bro.

One last thing. Where is this guy getting his nugget from? The worst drug dealer ever, that’s who. Hey Anthony I don’t know about you, but I like to relax when I smoke. Maybe watch a little Trailer Park Boys and eat some chicken fingers or something. Not trying to peruse the neighborhood looking for 16 year old girls to spank. Not during daylight hours anyway.