Barstool Sports

ABC News - A Delaware pediatrician who writes about near-death experiences of children and has appeared on “Oprah” is accused of waterboarding his 11-year-old daughter for two years, according to Delaware State Police. Dr. Melvin Morse, 58, and his wife Pauline, 40, were arrested Tuesday, a day after their daughter told a child advocate that her father had “waterboarded” her four times between May 2009 and May 2011 while her mother watched and did nothing to stop the abuse, Cpl. Gary Fournier told ABC News. Melvin Morse’s attorney, Joe Hurley, said he did not yet know enough about the case to comment on it, but said “There is always another side to the story.“

I think if I find out I’m the father of a daughter if I start having kids I’d have to give it away immediately. I’ll just be peering in there while my wife goes through labor waiting to see the results and when she comes out just be like “Uhh… nope. Nope, sorry honey, we’re giving this first one away.” Because I have absolutely no idea how you’re supposed to raise a girl as opposed to a boy. If you have a boy that acts out of line you can just lay in a little backhand or treat him tough or something. Not girls though. Girls cry, girls throw temper tantrums, and girls go running off to child services when you give them a little parental waterboarding in the backyard for misbehaving. I mean there’s obviously no way this girl didn’t deserve this. No way, whatsoever. You don’t get waterboarded for doing well in school or doing all your chores. You get waterboarded for serious shit like hiding WMD’s or dressing up like a whore or not taking out the garbage when it’s your day. And yet this father had absolutely no idea how to react to her. Just got totally baffled and confused and figured “Hey maybe if I let a some water run down her nose and make her think she’s drowning she’ll stop acting out”. And look where it got him. Hey, I feel you Melvin. Bitches be crazy.