Barstool Sports

Chicago Tribune - A fashion designer who boasts he’s created outfits for stars including Oprah Winfrey and Diana Ross has been sentenced to four years in federal prison for ID theft. Flamboyant serial con man Stevie Edwards, 47, has now been convicted of fraud three times. But his capers haven’t gotten any tougher for the feds to crack — the fraudulent loans he obtained in his boyfriend Eugene Rivers’ name were made payable to his own South Loop boutique, “I Luv Stevie.” Worse still, Rivers was in prison, serving a 20-year sentence for murder at the time.

“I know I messed up,” Edwards said at a sentencing hearing Thursday, urging Judge Matthew Kennelly to spare him so that he could resume his work. But Kennelly told the designer that it was very rare for someone to be convicted three times in federal fraud cases. “At some point, the two-by-four that has repeatedly been smacked upside your head should make you think,” the judge said.

Don’t think I’ve ever been less surprised by a case outcome in my entire life. I mean obviously this dude was going to jail for ID theft pretending to be a fashion designer with hair and brows like that. That look is straight up ridiculous. And look, I admittedly know nothing about fashion. I wear jeans, white shirts, North face jackets sometimes and that’s really all. The one time I ever dropped a ton of green on a pair of shoes I brought them home and my girlfriend told me I bought “black people” shoes and she outright refuses to let me wear them in public. But even I know that this guy is a hack trying to work that style. Just goes to show how full of shit the fashion world is that some nappy electro-hair is considered “in” nowadays. Looks like some nappy Beetlejuice flow going on.

PS – Judge might wanna cool it with all that talk about two-by-fours smacking Stevie in the face. Might be getting him a little too excited going into jail there your honor.