» Can’t Wait To Get My Taylor Ham In The Mail Barstool Sports

Can’t Wait To Get My Taylor Ham In The Mail

Taylor Ham – A mixture of love and happiness

Every major city in our great country is known for something that makes it unique. Nashville is known for its music. Detroit is known for its black people. New Orleans is known for its world famous water park. Chicago is known for its food. The list goes on.

But with all the incredible food we have through all of Chicagoland, there is one glaring omission. We don’t have Taylor Ham. It’s kind of like people from Chicago going to Boston and looking for an Italian Beef joint like ‘Johnnies’ in Melrose Park. They have no fucking clue what an Italian Beef is out there, because it’s strictly a Chicago thing. Same thing goes for Taylor Ham in the Midwest. No one in Chicago knows that the fuck Taylor Ham is, which is a problem for a portly fellow like myself. Luckily for me, my mom was born and raised in Tom’s River, NJ, so I grew up with the shit. Had it last week for the first time in probably five years, and it was just as magical as I remember.

Anyways, Neil was pretty much begging me to write a post today ripping on Strasser cuz the Sox are about to sweep the Yanks. I said, “sure Neil, I could do that for you,” because I am such a dedicated employee. Before that, a couple of days back Strasser and I made a wager that the loser of the series would ship their city’s best food out to the winner. I picked a big ass roll of Taylor Ham. He picked a deep dish pizza from Lou Mal’s. Fair trade. The original proposition was loser has to “blog a dick pic” but there have been enough pictures of baby dicks on the site for the time being.

Even though we made the bet after the first game like retards, there is about a 2% chance the Sox don’t sweep tonight. Konerko is hitting well again, Dewayne Wise might be the second coming of Christ, and Sale is gonna have his best shit. I can feel it. I can feel it down in my plumbs. See ya in the playoffs, Strasser.

@chisoxbarstool

By whitesoxdave posted August 22nd, 2012 at 10:10 AM

Top 2 Comments

45 comments Sort by Popularity Sort by Date

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by wilburham on August 22, 2012 at 10:12 am
Ummm? what the fuck is taylor ham?
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by glenjemin on August 22, 2012 at 10:20 am
its called Pork Roll u north side fuck!
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by pedrofartinez on August 22, 2012 at 10:30 am
also pretty sure the Italians in Boston are actual Italians, not some germans pretending to be Italians
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by wilburham on August 22, 2012 at 10:36 am
so taylor ham is basically spam or candien bacon? still confused
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by donny_d on August 22, 2012 at 10:45 am
Best breakfast meat there is. Easy to make, delicious, and takes a grilled cheese to another level. You have to get the 8 slice packs because the 4 slice packs are cut too thick. Just like scrapple, pork roll is best served thin.
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by pharr02 on August 22, 2012 at 11:02 am
@whitesoxdave - oh the best Chicago thin crust in the world comes from Warrenville? Makes snse. Fuck. Have you ever even stepped foot into the actual boundaries of Chicago? First of all, Chicago Style (which you were most likely referring to when you said Chicago thin crust) - is deep dish. So you just sounded like an idiot there. I have eaten pizza all over this city and throughout the suburbs (which is what Warrenville is) and Al's wouldnt crack the top 15 on the southside alone.
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by nj on August 22, 2012 at 11:15 am
who the fuck mail orders pork roll? and yes that shit in incredible
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by powerload30 on August 22, 2012 at 11:17 am
Lou Malnati's sucks, and neil shouldn't be the boss of anyone. he couldn't boss a retard to shit his pants after eating a sloppy joe.
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by nj on August 22, 2012 at 11:17 am
ask your grocery store up there to order it and they will start to carry it......thats what i did here in NC
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by pharr02 on August 22, 2012 at 11:17 am
Actually being born and raised in Chicago unlike any of the Chicago writers I know that 'Lou Mal's' would probably be the 15th best option for pizza.
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by nj on August 22, 2012 at 11:18 am
neil sucks huge elephant phallus
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by urmother on August 22, 2012 at 11:26 am
as a jersey native it baffles me how many people have never even heard of the greatest breakfast sandwich known to man. the PORK ROLL egg and cheese. I notice ur a fan of the name TAYLOR HAM as most of the uninformed are fans of that name. Anybody in the loop calls it pork roll. and it is the best. It's a shame nobody knows wtf it is outside of NJ and philly.
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by delihands on August 22, 2012 at 11:27 am
How the hell were you mailing a pizza... at least you can ship taylor ham and itll still be good. Nothing like a Taylor Ham egg and cheese on an everything bagel.
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by crosbysbrain on August 22, 2012 at 11:29 am
I thought Chicago was known for that Neil blogger guy. Lives in Boystown, felches with a guy with the monicker "whitesoxdave", knows nothing about sports or humor. Neil, symbol of the city!
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by dew2 on August 22, 2012 at 11:30 am
ITS TOMS RIVER, NO APOSTROPHE YOU DOUCHE, NOT MUST OF BEEN THERE VERY LONG
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by freda_felcher on August 22, 2012 at 11:32 am
Lou's ships za's on dry ice then you bake em...I thought everybody knew that
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by hobro19 on August 22, 2012 at 11:36 am
to clear up the taylor ham/pork roll debate for those not from the great state of NJ, pork roll is the meat, taylor is the brand that makes the best pork roll. so anyone who calls it pork roll (south jersey/philly, same thing) is willing to settle for subpar pork roll/sports teams. taylor ham is the best of the best. you cannot get subpar taylor ham. you can, however, get shitty pork roll
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by snailtrail291 on August 22, 2012 at 11:39 am
yeah Lou Mal's is like the pizza hut of chicago.
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by whitesoxdave on August 22, 2012 at 11:41 am
I don't even really like deep dish, I like a good thin crust. Al's pizza in Warrenville has the best Chicago thin crust in the world
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by snailtrail291 on August 22, 2012 at 11:41 am
and for the record whitesoxdave is much funnier than Neil. All in agreement?
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by hello on August 22, 2012 at 11:42 am
The only thing worse than you thinking Lou Malnati's is the best pizza in Chicago is the fact that you call it "Lou Mal's." What kind of jerkoff pizza joint mails pizza? You did, however, do good with the Johnnies reference.
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by torch510 on August 22, 2012 at 11:43 am
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?
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by queen lundqvist on August 22, 2012 at 11:44 am
Anybody who calls pork roll "Taylor Ham." hoagies "subs," or cheesesteaks "steak and cheese" deserves to watch their dog get shot by the NYPD. And to answer your question wilburham, pork roll and Canadian bacon are similar in some ways, but have completely different tastes/textures.
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by whitesoxdave on August 22, 2012 at 11:44 am
It was his choice. I think Lou Mal's sucks too. There's no denying it's fame though, everyone knows about it
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by chicagomatt on August 22, 2012 at 11:46 am
Fox's on the southside has better thin crust that Al's. Hell even Pete's Pizza on Western has better thin crust than Al's. Plus Warrenville is so fucking far away who the hell wants to go all the way out there.
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by tomcaronsgoatee on August 22, 2012 at 11:50 am
did you really say "plumbs" you simple minded midwesterner.
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by herbie versmells on August 22, 2012 at 11:51 am
anyone who takes orders from neil should re-evaluate life....in other news, whitesoxdave has almost made me throw up in my mouth every time he brings up eating food because all i can picture is "that fat slob" viciously devouring his meal at a nice restaurant.
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by whitesoxdave on August 22, 2012 at 11:52 am
tomcaronsgotee, it's from eastbound and down you simple minded east coaster
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by tatano on August 22, 2012 at 12:04 pm
ITS CALLED PORK ROLL!!!!!
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by whitesoxdave on August 22, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Pharr, Chicago thin crust is way different than east coast thin crust which is why i made the distinction. what southside pizzerias do you speak of?
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by hardooo on August 22, 2012 at 12:10 pm
@herbie versmells I don't know why but I just can't stop laughing at that comment
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by pharr02 on August 22, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Rosangelas on 95th & California (which is technically Evergreen Park) or Milanos on 110th & Western are the 2 best pizzas in the city.
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by rickyvaughn on August 22, 2012 at 12:22 pm
P O R K R O L L you jackass!
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by 5MinuteMajor on August 22, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Just fry-up a Johnsonville Sausage and call it a day...oh wait, those come from Sheboygan....never mind.
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by gmen9892 on August 22, 2012 at 12:30 pm
@queen - never heard of steak and cheese before, but the classier part NJ calls it Taylor Ham. South Jersey/Pennsylvania can call it Pork Roll or whatever the fuck, but the meats are clearly different. As someone said before, there are many different (read: shitty) kinds of Pork Roll, but Taylor Ham is in a class by itself. Read up.
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by mlrussak on August 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm
Its Taylor Ham. No one cares what a south jersey local thinks, or takes the erm 'pork roll' seriously.
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by bchrone on August 22, 2012 at 12:34 pm
haha pharr you know your pizza...Milano's on 110th and Western has the best deep dish and thin crust hands down...Giordano's deep dish is a close second
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by beatstains on August 22, 2012 at 12:43 pm
I'M YELLING !!!!
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by panamared on August 22, 2012 at 12:44 pm
als beef > johnnies beef all day, and no one calls it lou mal ever. lou malnatis sucks
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by menotknow on August 22, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Your next blog should be a video of you and bigcat throwing neil off a bridge.
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by cnysavior on August 22, 2012 at 1:21 pm
You think that whole Katrina thing is funny? If you do your a sociopathic animal bro. Idc what color you are, the look of despiration in those people's faces is insane. Grow the fuck up tardo, rape jokes ok, snuff films fine, wheres the line for these goons tho Davey Pageviews?
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by 3pink2stink on August 22, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Taylor Ham, Breakfast's answer to bologna. Shit sucks ass.
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by mcchay on August 22, 2012 at 1:30 pm
It's called Taylor Ham...unless you're poor from South Jersey. Win a super bowl and you can call it whatever you like.
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by slutnuts4 on August 22, 2012 at 3:23 pm
hang on. if you lost you were supposed to mail a pizza? who wants a cold day old (if its expressed) pizza?
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by thesoda on August 22, 2012 at 9:06 pm
you nub, it is Toms River. Get your shit straight son. But taylor ham/pork roll is fucking delicious.
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