Time - Nestled in the picturesque Lake District of northwest England, the Damson Dene Hotel seems, at first glance, like the typical English countryside hotel. But its bedside tables contain a shocking secret. Instead of the traditional bedside Gideon Bible placed at arm’s reach, its forty rooms each contain a copy of E.L. James’ bestselling erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey. Jonathan Denby, owner of the hotel, told NBC News he felt that in a secular society, it was “wholly inappropriate” to put a religious book in someone’s bedroom. He confessed the novel, which started life as Twilight fan-fiction, wasn’t his first choice of replacement. In fact, he hasn’t even read it. “I was thinking originally of putting in a book by Ayn Rand — Atlas Shrugged was my first thought,” he said, but “because everybody is reading Fifty Shades of Grey, we thought it would be a hospitable thing to do, to have this available for our guests, especially if some of them were a little bit shy about buying it because of its reputation.”
Atlas Shrugged was your first choice to replace the Bible as the book in your hotel bedrooms? Fucking serious? Yeah dude a 1,200 page magnum opus talking about the perils of mental slavery sounds like the perfect complement to my vacation on the exhilarating English countryside. Why not just throw in a fifth of Jack and a bottle of pills and I’ll figure out the rest from here, thanks. At least I could roll a joint with those blank pages in the Bible. I’m pretty sure Ayn Rand has a “Make your own suicide note” section in the back.
Still, I suppose the guy did recover nicely with the inclusion of 50 Shades of Grey. Call it the Olympic Village effect with all those crazed athletes banging each other’s brains out in every nook and cranny of whatever country they end up in every 4 years. Now instead of traversing through the heart of England with dark and depressing thoughts you can traverse through the heart of England with dark and depressing thoughts and a rock solid hard-on ready to lay the pipe. Beats the alternative I guess.