Here we are men. Barstool Chicago’s inaugural “Comments of the Week.” I actually had a “Best of the Comments Section” blog after my first month or so working for the Stool. Not going to lie, those comments were absolutely hilarious. This week? Not so much. All you guys did for a while was rip on KFC and his extreme lack of athleticism. Though each of those comments were extremely warranted, none of them made the cut. I’m looking for originality. Being a former commenter that constantly ripped on the writers myself, (no offense Feitelberg) I know you guys have more hate in you than we saw this week. How funny these blogs will be is strictly dependent on you. So without further ado, here’s the Barstool Chicago’s Comments of the Week!
Blog: Teen Mom Completely Ignored at Exxxotica
“Watching her is one thing.. but when you have to look the girl you were pretending was a teen in the eye it gets a little awkward”
Analysis: This comment kind of hit home with me. I’ve oft thought about how I’d approach my favorite porn star if the opportunity presented itself. I mean while we awkwardly shake hands, all I would be thinking is how “Holy shit. Every day I plop my laptop on my chest and try to put one through the apple sign while watching you getting drilled in the asshole. All she would be thinking is, “This weirdo prolly lays his laptop on his chest every single day and tries to put one through the Apple sign to me getting drilled in the asshole.” My poker face sucks so bad you could grab the awkwardness out of the air.
When I read articles like this, I tell myself I could be doing something much more productive……Then I find myself back 2 minutes later
Analysis: This is the life of a Stoolie summed up in two sentences. Stuck sitting in a monkey cage, refreshing Barstool Sports all day, every day. It’s a really sad life to live if you think about it. I won’t judge though, as I was once there too, but now instead of refreshing the Superpage I’m refreshing my own blogs laughing at all of you puppets who pay El Pres’ bills. And that’s what you all are: puppets. And all of us writers are the puppeteers.
Only time Ive ever made a woman cum
if pres came out nose first i really cant blame his mom
You also started as your fathers orgasm. It’s only fair to mom i guess
I used to work in a photo lab about 25 years, a new father came in with some delivery room pictures. There was one with the baby’s head crowning out of his wife’s twat and a stream of pussy juice 3 fucking feet in the air. She had a look of a woman in intense pain and intense pleasure at the same time. Sorta like that first shit in the morning after Cinco de mayo.
Analysis: Some of all of our favorite ongoing themes at Barstool all in one blog: Ripping on ourselves for not knowing how to properly pleasure a woman, ripping on Pres’ nose, and talking about our shits. Back in my commenting days, I’d always be good for a few “I’d bend her over a handrail and give her the best 3 seconds of my life” jokes a week. That, and I’d rip on Prez for all of his shortcomings as well. Good times, good times…
There you have it fellas. It was slim pickings this week, but I work with what I’m given. Like I said the other day, I have a cube monkey job and can’t read every single blog, as much as I would like to. Tweet me your favorite comments of the week.
Big Cat’s Note – Comment of the week, for reasons that should now be apparent.
Farasi – @whitesoxdave mall security guards think you are drunk with authority