Stunting With A Fast Pass Is The Greatest Feeling In The World

It’s no secret that Disney World lines in the summer can be a bit of bitch. Waiting in lines with children in the humidity can make you wanna die. It’s not just your kids, either. Everybody’s kids are complaining their little asses off at the Happiest Place on Earth. People are walkin around in the hot sun or the afternoon rain and Disney doesn’t even have the decency to give you good ass toilet paper.

There are many losses that you take while at a place like Disney World. The price of food. The distance that you walk. The amount of swamp ass that you get.

The thrill of the Fast Pass makes it all worth it. You see these lines with 90-120 minute wait periods and you just cruise past all of the haters and losers. You know they see you. You know they are jealous of you. You don’t make eye contact with those animals in the normal line. You just kinda cruise past them like

It’s awesome passing the people in the middle of the line because they still have so far to go and they’ve been waiting for an hour already. The just want their turn. It’s so damn hot and you come through that bitch with a purpose.

There is NOTHING like the thrill of swooping in before someone who has reached the front of the line, though. They can see the ride. They are in front of the gate. The attendant points to you and they have to wait just a little bit more. It’s like sex. It feels so good to be a Fast Passer. I can’t and I’ll never go back.