Real Life I’m A Hardo: The I Dont Celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day Story

Oh Hell Yeah! It’s time to darty! It’s Saint Patty’s or Paddy’s Day! Not sure which because tbh that’s confusing as all hell. Damned if you do; damned if you don’t.

Look, we all know those folks who have the biggest dumps in their pants about St. Patrick’s Day. They don’t wanna go out on Saint Patrick’s Day because they don’t need a holiday to celebrate. They don’t need a reason to go out and get drunk with their pals. They don’t need to go out with all the “amateurs” that will be ordering green beer.

Green beer is fun. Shepherd’s pie is delicious. Bean soup makes the world go round.

You show up to your favorite bar with all your green clothes on and you look handsome as shit. You’ve been studying some Irish dance moves for weeks so you’re ready to get nuts. That harp beat drops, you kick your feet, and jig it up. You leave the ladies dripping from their corned beef underbits (talkin about vaginas, folks) and you’re the talk of the town. What is there to hate about that? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Get it, Nana!

What a ball of fire.

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