Nominee For Headline Of The Year - Brother Shoots Sister In Butt Over Penis Cake

Holly Hill, Florida — (WTSP) A man is facing battery charges after he shot his sister in the butt with a BB gun after she made him a birthday cake in the shape of a penis, according to WKMG. Christopher Taft, 21, has been charged with aggravated battery and battery in the Sunday incident.

Taft told police he thought it would be funny to shoot his sister with a BB gun as a joke and did not intend to hurt her, according to the report. The BB was embedded in the victim’s skin and she refused to be transported, saying she would go to a hospital herself, police said. The victim told police she didn’t want to pursue criminal charges.

Sometimes a headline is so good you just have to tip your hat, get out of the way, and move on. Well done Florida. We give you a lot of shit, and literally all of it is warranted, but this, this was a good one. Penis cakes and Butt shots, that’s what Florida does.

Also for the record, 100% on this kid’s side. You make a penis cake for a girl who is on her bachelorette party, not a random bro turning 21, unless of course you want to get shot in the butt, then mission accomplished?