Worst night in the Sports year last night. Not a single game played, so naturally ESPN hijacked our lives with the ESPY’s. If you somehow managed to avoid them, here’s what you missed.
Lebron dressing like a movie theater usher and wearing sunglasses inside.
Dwayne Wade, sorry THREE, wearing his chain on the outside of his dress shirt
B-Marsh also dressing like an usher but gets a pass because he got to present with Katherine Webb. That was my totally unbiased analysis of that.
Reggie Bush is still doing that weird thing where he’s dating a Kim Kardashian look alike
Somehow Vince Young got in the door? Breach of security at the ESPY’s
Marissa Miller gave me a boner
So did Katherine Webb
Belding crushing young V like it’s 1995
Colin Kaepernick wore sunglasses inside too, but he gets a pass because he has one of the weirdest shaped faces of all time.
Shit got sad for a little bit with some actually cool stories
Jason Sudeikis. Light at the end of the tunnel for mustachiod gentlemen
Alex Morgan with her mom, solid genes
Danica, who cares if she can’t drive for shit.
Chris Berman lectured everyone because he’s the SWAMI!!!
Lolo Jones, starting to look a little tranny-ish
And last but not least, the Heat won every award. Crazy right? I was shocked too. An award show created by ESPN had the Miami Heat take home every ESPY, never saw that coming