Look, I know last night was the first night the Hawks were home in Forever. Lot of excitement surrounding the team in the city in general and United Center in particular. But with that said, I think I need to make it loud and clear that if you’re a grown man standing behind Pat and Konroyd yelling into their ear before a game, you need to reassess your entire life. Ultimate Toad move. And I’m obviously not talking about kids or grown men that have kids and want their kids to get the full experience, that makes sense to me. I’m talking about the solo guy who gets their early to stand directly in the middle of the show screaming in everyone’s ear thinking that more than 1,000 people are actually watching the pregame show.
This fucking guy last night. Literally stood there for 20 minutes trying to get a “Lets Go Hawks” chant going. Waving to the camera with his stupid half nerd/half hipster glasses. Flashing his sweet Hawks Refrigerator Calendar that everyone got for free. Literally Endless.
So this is a PSA of sorts. If you were ever thinking about doing this, don’t. In fact, if you were ever thinking about doing this just walk outside the United Center and head west on Madison until someone shoots you, because your life has hit rock bottom already.
*If this guy is mentally handicapped in some capacity I still don’t take back this entire post, even r*tarded people know this is completely unacceptable behavior.
Obviously the exception to this entire rule is silently holding a Viva La Stool sign. That’s both classy and sophisticated.