(Source) Kim Kardashian may be one of the most sought-after women in the world – but one man can’t stay far enough away from the reality TV star. Retail assistant Mike Amess has an unusual phobia: he is absolutely petrified of the Kardashian family. He breaks out in a cold sweat whenever he sees or hears the famous family and says the sight of a semi-naked Kim even makes him vomit with disgust. The 24-year-old from Exeter explains, ‘Just hearing the sound of the Kardashians’ nasal voices or catching a glimpse of them on screen makes me feel nauseous and shaky. ‘My hands get clammy, my breathing gets heavier and I start sweating. Sometimes, I get teary and want to retch.’ Mike, who is gay, says his fear of the Kardashians started when he watched Kim’s now notorious sex tape at the age of seventeen.
Mike says, ‘I was raised Catholic and growing up, I tried to repress my sexuality and deny that I was gay. ‘Loads of the boys at school were going on about how good Kim Kardashian’s sex tape was. I thought I’d give it a watch in the hope it would turn me on. ‘I downloaded the video and watched it secretly in my bedroom. But the sight of Kim writhing around with her huge bum and the sound of her horrible high-pitched wailing repulsed me. ‘I really wanted to be aroused by her so I kept watching it but she made me feel more and more upset. ‘By the end of the tape, I had burst into tears. The experience left me terrified and I never wanted to see Kim’s face again. ‘I have come to terms with my homosexuality now but my dread towards her has never left.’
Mike says that his phobia has got worse since Kim’s fame skyrocketed and his fear now extends to the whole Kardashian family. He explains, ‘Kim and her sisters look and sound so similar – they’re a mess. They make my stomach churn, I hate it. ‘I dislike everything about them, especially their physical appearance. I don’t understand how anyone could find them attractive. ‘I can’t stand their voices either. They’re so whiny and shrill – it really gets under my skin.’ The Kardashians’ prominence in the media means that Mike’s phobia blights his everyday life. Mike’s most recent ordeal saw him throw up after accidentally seeing Kanye West’s racy music video, ‘Bound 2′, which features a topless Kim straddling the singer on a motorbike. He says, ‘One day, I was lazing about on the sofa in front of the TV. I was skipping through music channels and that video came on. ‘Seeing Kim naked, with her boobs bouncing about like that brought back memories of that horrendous sex tape. It was like reliving that incident all over again. ‘Before I knew it, I was sweating like a pig and throwing up. When I hear ‘Bound 2′ on the radio now, I have to switch the station immediately.’ Mike’s fear of the Kardashians has also had disastrous effects on his love life and he was forced to break up with a former boyfriend because of it.
Hey Mike, you sure it’s a phobia dude? Are you sure it’s not just being a regular person that wants to puke every single time he sees the Kardashians? Because you basically just came up with a disease that every single person has. It’s like saying I don’t like to eat dirt, or poison makes my stomach feel a little sick. No shit dude. State the obvious a little more. And yeah I get that you are scarred by her sex tape and can’t hold a boyfriend down because you puke and cry every time someone says the name Kardashian but at the end of the day you’re basically every person in America. I don’t know if you realize this but we ALL hate the Kardashians. At least all normal people. Puking and crying is taking things over the top. So get in line dude. Stop being a fucking pussy about it and do what the rest of us do and devote all your Kardashian energy to hoping they die in an awful terrible death.
I’ll give it to Mike, these pictures are laugh out loud funny. Drama Queen City Population Mike.
“OH MY GOD NOOO, I CAN’T EVEN!”
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