Fat Kid Getting Loose At A Braves Game May Be Bartolo Colon’s Long Lost Son
We know Bartolo has a second family, so a guy who has a second family probably has a third as well right? And this kid looks like Bartolo, moves like Bartolo, and has the swagger of Bartolo. I’m not saying but I’m also not not saying. Someone put a ball in his hand, let him intermittently take steroids throughout his career, and watch the wins pile up. They can be like Ken Griffey Jr and Senior because at this point I don’t think Tolo is ever retiring.
By the way, I always wondered if fat guys who can move get laid. Like fat or not that kid is smooth right? Chicks love a smooth guy. Feel like if you’re destined to be really fat you need to focus on dancing or rapping and all will be good in life. Do one of those two things and you can weigh 400 pounds and still get your dick sucked.
Still one of the most underrated hilarious stories was when Bartolo blew up his own spot regarding his second family because he represented himself in court. Was smart enough to put himself down as an “anonymous” defendant then fucked it all up having lawyer Bartolo Colon defend anonymous. Absolutely perfect.