Chinese Man Put Eel Up His Ass To Relieve His Constipation

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A factory worker from southeast China put a half-a-metre long eel into his anus in a bid to cure his constipation problem.
49-year-old Mr Liu was rushed to the local hospital after claiming he had a stomach ache last week.
Doctors were shocked when the found the Asian swamp eel in his stomach along with faeces and food residue.

According to a report on Guangdong Television, Liu visited the hospital claiming he had a constipation problem. Doctors diagnosed the man with bowel obstruction and recommended that he stay at the hospital for further treatment.
Liu refused and decided to resort to ancient method of treating constipation by putting an eel into his anus to try and clear the blockage.

Doctors examined Liu’s abdominal area and found a hole in the duodenum area. They were then shocked to find an eel in his intestines.
They removed the half-a-metre (1.64 ft) long Asian swamp eel, weighing about 250g (0.55 lbs), with a head of three to five centimeters (1.18 – 1.97 inch) wide.
They also found faeces and food residue in this body.

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Well, this is audacious. Longtime stoolie Mr Liu had a bit of a problem. It’s not a problem that I personally identify with, but it’s certainly a problem. I feel like we are at the point medically where we don’t have to resort to shoving eels up our asses to get the bowels flowing again. Drink some apple juice. Eat some taco bell. Smoke a cig and drink some coffee. There’s plenty of options that don’t involve rectal fish.

I just can’t imagine getting to the place where I’m so frustrated with the traffic jam in my colon that I feel like I need to shove an eel up my back side. Seems like it wouldn’t work, right?

If anything, shoving a fish up your butt seems like it would compact things even more. Maybe it was an electric eel, though. An electric eel could work because the pulsating current coming from the fish could loosen everything up. That’s basic electrical engineering.

I wonder if his wife knew what he was up to. His wife gets home from work and sets her purse down. She looks into the living room and sees bare assed Mr Liu with his legs pointed at the ceiling fan and an eel in his hand and his butthole dripping with lotion.

“Goodness Gracious, Mr Liu! Oh no, baby! What are you doin?”

“I haven’t moved my bowels in weeks, Susanne! I’m filled to the brim with feces and this eel is going straight up my butt right this moment!”

“This is problematic,” she screams whilst covering her eyes.

Unfortunate!

I just don’t think you can look at your husband the same way ever again when he had to have an eel removed from his anus. I hate it for them. They are a lovely couple whom I love dearly. I hope they get the help they need both medically and psychologically. T&Ps.

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