Beyonce Wipes Her Ass With Red Toilet Paper, Wait What?

 

 

(Source) Her tour rider reportedly includes water chilled to 21 degrees Fahrenheit, $900 titanium straws and hand-carved ice balls.

The Daily Star also reports that the singer’s list of demands for the Mrs Carter Show also includes new toilet seats and red toilet paper.

Furthermore, the 31-year-old has reportedly specified that all her crew members wear clothes made from 100% cotton.

She is also said to have requested the largest changing room available at the O2 Arena for the London leg of her Mrs Carter Show tour.

 

Well don’t I feel like a poor asshole right now. I didn’t even know red toilet paper existed until I read this, now I don’t want to wipe my ass with anything else. It’s one of those things you just assume never changes. You live, you die, you wipe your ass with white tp. Life’s certainties. Not anymore. Beyonce just changed the game. Red toilet paper. For no reason other than the fact that everyone else uses white. Zig when everyone else zags. If you don’t brush your butthole with red paper you’re just a silly pawn in the game of life. A follower. A sheep. Red toilet paper for life now.

 

PS

If this has anything to do with hiding period blood I just want to say I’m sorry for this blog post and I am now going to puke my face off.

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