An International Scandal Surrounds Dried Lizard Cocks

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A joint investigative team from the UK and India say they have uncovered an “international fraud” where dried monitor lizard penises are being passed off as tantric plant roots.
The root, hatha jodhi, is believed to bring good luck and happiness as it resembles two hands joined in prayer.
A statement from World Animal Protection said Indian wildlife authorities had conducted raids in several states and seized samples.
The fake “roots” are being sold online.

I’ve often said that being a lizard would be cold blooded. One minute you are hanging out with your best lizard pals and the next minute your dick is in a vice grip and getting chopped straight the hell off. Incredible.

You’ve gotta be one sick puppy to harvest the dicks of lizards. Now, I admit that those lizard penises do look like hatha jodhi. In fact, when I first saw the aforementioned article I thought, “Well I’ll be damned. That’s a hatha jodhi, a tantric plant root thought to bring good luck and happiness due to it resembling two hands joined in prayer.” Well, egg on my face. It’s not. it’s lizard dick.

Let this be a lesson to all of us, just because you think that something might be a tantric root doesnt mean that it is. It could be a sweet potato or a dried lizard dick. Just take a little caution. That’s all I’m saying. Good work, everybody.

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