Alfonso Soriano Needs To Get The Fuck Off My Team, But In A Good Way




I just want to personally thank Alfonso Soriano for what he is doing right now. If you’re a Cubs fan and you’ve watched Alfonso Soriano for the past 7 years you know that this actually isn’t anything new. He usually gets 50% of his yearly stats in a random 3 week stretch every season. He gets blazing hot for 10-15 games and then is just so-so the rest of the year. But holy shit talk about timing. Last 11 games? Only hitting .400, with 8 hrs, 14 runs and 17 rbi’s. That’s the definition of NBD but KBD. So I don’t know who Theo needs to call right now, but if Soriano isn’t traded by the end of this week then something is wrong. He’s going to come back down to earth, law of the averages, especially when we’re talking about a guy that is legitimately 45 years old. Maybe Theo should pretend to sign him to a long term deal like Garza and the price will go up even more, I don’t care, I just need Soriano off the Cubs ASAP.


Totally aside but not really. I never understood people who hate on Soriano. He’s wildly overpaid yes, but that’s not Alfonso Soriano’s fault, that’s Jim Hendry’s. Hating on players for taking top dollar makes no sense, and when you look at his career with the Cubs, Soriano basically gave them exactly what you would expect from a guy who was moving towards the downside of his career when he signed his contract. Well let me clarify, exactly what everyone in the world except Hendry expected.

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