Yesterday I Prevented A Robbery, So I'm Kind Of A Superhero

Yesterday I went to dinner with my brother and a friend and when we got back to my apartment there was some dude trying to take apart my brother’s bike. Well some people may call the cops here but not I. When faced with a flight or fight situation, I choose fight. Well, I should clarify: when it’s fight or flight I’ll chose fight every time, as long as the guilty party is 5’3 and 140 pounds soaking wet. In that situation, I will absolutely fight.

So we jump into action against the little fella. Pin him against the wall, kick his bike, throw him to the ground. It was a total playground beat down. Like a 5th grader smacking around a 2nd grader at lunch. When we stood him up he started yelling in Spanish. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t hablo much Espanol anymore. So there is a chance he was yelling, “What the FUCK are you gringos doing? I’m a Harvard business professor and was just out for a Sunday ride!” Who knows, really. But since I couldn’t understand him, I yelled louder. Which made him yell louder. As if decibel level was the cause of our communication problems.

Anyway, an on-looker who had seen what was happening called the cops. When the fuzz showed up they ran his name and it turns out the guy had a rap sheet a mile long, full of badass charges like stealing bikes. So am I saying I’m a hero? Do I deserve a key to the city? I don’t know, I’ll leave decisions like that to the powers that be. But I do know is that Boston is a much safer city today, with criminal masterminds like Pablo el Ladron de Bicicletas off the street. You’re welcome.