Tom Brady is Endorsing Aston Martin. Because of Course He Is.
Remember when the haters used to come hard at Tom Brady, accusing him of being a metrosexual pretty boy and an elitist snob just because he was jetting around the world going to Fashion Week in Milan and meeting the Pope? Well how do you like him now, bitches. TB12, just once again showing he’s got the common touch. That he’s the people’s champion. A regular guy.
Because what can regular guys relate to? Wives who sometimes get talking and say more than they should. What do regular guys like? Madden and cars. High end, stylishly appointed, precision engineered, ergonomically perfect, $211,000 land rockets like Aston Martin builds. The car 007 used to nail SPECTRE and smokeshow double agents in equal numbers. The car the common man can appreciate.
Apparently Aston Martin only sells about 1,000 of these things in the U.S. every year. But that was before they partnered up with the most relateable superstar in America. In a year, they won’t be able to keep up with the demand as these things start flying out of the showroom like Brady’s $200 book with dehydrated algae recipes and his $200 ceramic-lined superpajamas. Let Peyton Manning keep the country diabetic shilling the world’s worst chain pizza. Regular Joe gearheads like me and TB12 are going with Aston Martin. It’s more than I paid for my house, but there’ll be a Brady model in my driveway as soon as it comes off the assembly line.