Those Crazy Jews Invented A Kosher Lube For Oral Sex

Promotional photo of tubes of Wet kosher lubricant

 

(Source) - Rabbis have rarely generated so much excitement. At least not in the bedroom. For the first time, Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher. The US-made Wet range of lubes now has eight lines that have been given a religious stamp of approval, including its “Ecstasy” product. This means that rabbis from the Rabbinical Council of California have inspected Wet’s 52,000 sq ft production plant and researched the origins of every ingredient to check none comes from items prohibited by kosher rules. Kosher certification is only relevant to Jews who swallow a product. Really, it’s only necessary for the God-fearing who intentionally swallow it – but some strict observers go further and buy kosher products if there is a risk of accidentally swallowing them.

 

Oh you whacky Chosen people. What the hell is this? Lube for a oral sex? First of all if you need lube for a BJ then you’re doing it wrong. Just hock a loogie or eat some Skittles like a good yid. But secondly, how important is this invention? It’s common knowledge that wives don’t give blowjobs so who’s using this? Girls eager to choke down a hot dog but need it to be kosher? If you’re giving a blowjob right then you’ll be mixing meat and milk shortly sweetheart. Kosher Jewbricant ain’t gonna fix that. I mean I’m not trying to cockblock Teyve, just giving you the facts. But if kosher lube justifies you dishing out hummers then smear that shit in all the Gefilte fish lube you please.

 

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