They're Making A Reality Show Called "I Slept With A Celebrity" And Yup It's Just People Sitting Around Talking About Celebrities They Fucked

(Source) – After years of reality TV stars who earned their fame and fortune through genital osmosis fronting shows that pretend they are separately interesting individuals, Bravo’s Andy Cohen has sidestepped the artistic pretense of series like Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Basketball Wives, et al. by developing the self-explanatory I Slept With A Celebrity. Proceeding to explain the show anyway, The Hollywood Reporter says each weekly episode of this, the inevitable nadir of our rewarding with endless fascination anyone who’s touched a crotch that’s been on television, will see two guests “dishing about how their walk with fame led to a walk of shame,” all the way to the bank. According to the synopsis, said dishing will include details on “where they met, where they went and what they wore—or didn’t,” with that last part being a sly nod to someone being nude, a state that allows for the exposing of sex organs. Most intriguingly, these are sex organs belonging to famous people, which is why they deserve a television show devoted to discussing them.

First of all, I’ll watch the shit out of this. I want to know everything about celebrity sex lives. Which chicks are freaks and which are a dead fish? Who has a kinky fetish? Yup, I even want to know what guys are packing what. Need all that info. But how fucking bad does it suck to be a celebrity when it comes to shit like this? Like in high school you had to worry about your ex gabbing with a few of her girlfriends about how you perform and even that was mortifying. But for a celebrity? Your old partners don’t discuss some shit in the cafeteria, they go on network television and talk about your dick size and how you fuck. That’s terrifying. Have one chick make up some shit and next thing you know your entire rep is shot to hell and you’ve got TMZ reporters following you around and asking why you can only get off if there’s a finger in your ass and “Tears in Heaven” is playing in the room. Hope these people enjoy their 15 minutes of fame because they’re ruining it for all other groupies, gonna need confidentiality agreements out the ass to get some celebrity dick from here on out.