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OMAHA, Neb. – An Omaha man’s apartment is infested with venomous spiders thought to be brought in by the hot summer temperatures. Dylan Baumann said he has been catching brown recluse spiders in his apartment near 77th and Howard streets for four months. “I saw them crawling across my walls, crawling along my floor boards and saw it crawling by my foot,” Baumann said. Brown recluse spiders are not aggressive, but they could be harmful due to their venomous bite. Out of the 200 species of spiders found in Nebraska, the black widow and brown recluse are considered the most dangerous Baumann said he planned to move out of the apartment, but not until September. In the meantime, Baumann said he is trying to co-exist with the spiders by taking precautions like pushing the bed away from the wall and shaking out clothes and shoes before putting them on.
Totally feel for this kid. Who cares if it’s practically Klendathu at this point, your home is your home. Can’t nobody take that from you. Dylan Bauman probably saw all those brown recluse and thought well on the one hand those things are fucking poisonous and if they bite you you pretty much die. But on the other hand, my TV is really fucking heavy. Total toss up. The last time I moved I swore to myself I’d never do it again until I could afford to have someone do it for me and seeing as Dylan still lives in Omaha I’m guessing he’s more of a “rich in spirit” kind of guy. All set with the geometry of trying to get my love seat out the front door and down the 3 foot wide staircase. I’ll sit tight with my recluse bros. As long as I move my bed from the wall and shake out my Boxer Joes before I slip em on there’s no way they bite me. Actually a pretty flawless plan if you ask me.
PS – for the love of fuck do not google “brown recluse spider bite.” Godspeed, Dylan.
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