» Reader Email – Stoolie Amber Alert! Barstool Sports: Boston

Reader Email

Hey Prez,

Can you put out an all points bulletin for my co worker Jerry. We had a 3 hour open bar last night and this is the last time any of us saw him (see attached). Passed out cold on the Path Train going to Hoboken, NJ around 9:45pm.

Jerry

6 ft, 170lbs

Light brown balding hair

Last seen in blue slacks, blue striped shirts and brown shoes.

Is this move even legal on a train unless your homeless?

People always send me serious emails asking me to post shit. Somebody has been kidnapped. Raise awareness for a disease, blah, blah, blah. It’s always something. I usually don’t post any of it because people don’t come to Barstool to get depressed. They come here to get a laugh and get through their miserable day. But when a Stoolie goes missing after a 3 hour open bar that’s when I spring into action. So here is the first ever Stoolie Amber Alert. If you have any information on Jerry please pass it along. A good man’s life hangs in the balance.

PS – I was convinced this was Mo in the first picture. And let’s call a spade a spade. There is no chance this guy is not at least 6’8.

By elpresidente posted June 21st, 2012 at 11:40 AM

Top 2 Comments

24 comments Sort by Popularity Sort by Date

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by quisutdios on June 21, 2012 at 11:44 am
Quite the collegial envoironment there. Get hammered with your bro, watch him pass out cold on the train, and snap a picture of him so you have something to remember him by after he's abducted and sold to a Ukranian kidney farmer.
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by spinna on June 21, 2012 at 11:44 am
fuck! I thought Mo went missing
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by paul the pot eater on June 21, 2012 at 11:44 am
Fuck the guy who took the picture and didn't get the full MTA "is there something wrong with this picture" ad into the shot. Would have been epic with it...
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by cripes on June 21, 2012 at 11:46 am
UPDATE: Homeboy is sleeping in his bed and used today as a sick day. Question though, what the fuck is a silver alert. Been to NJ like twice and seen 14 different silver alerts.
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by pacostacos on June 21, 2012 at 11:48 am
Guarentee by 9:46 p.m. he was robbed, stripped of all clothing and his belongings and left for dead. F**k New Jersey and everyone in it, armpit of the east coast!!!!
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by gildolovesvikings on June 21, 2012 at 11:49 am
He's at my house boyssss. Took some advantage of him boyssss. #GoVikings
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by grizzlyadamsbeard on June 21, 2012 at 11:50 am
He's got those Larry David pants
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by Lameburgers on June 21, 2012 at 11:50 am
his legs was like, linguini
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by QuietChris on June 21, 2012 at 11:51 am
Hoboken has him now, and she'll never let him go.
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by lobster_claw on June 21, 2012 at 11:51 am
Silver alert is for elderly people, usually with some kind of mental disease like alzheimers (sp?). Amber alert is for missing children. A good man's life COULD have been hanging in the balance. I'm all for personal responsibility, but if you don't make sure your drunk friends get home safe, you're a piece of shit: http://www.pressherald.com/news/Promising-life-cut-short-Students-body-is-found.html?searchterm=Harvard+student
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by cantgetthestinkout on June 21, 2012 at 11:52 am
What's he reaching for in that second photo?
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by mctrippy on June 21, 2012 at 11:53 am
Jerry's a lucky guy to have such cool friends.
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by spinna on June 21, 2012 at 11:54 am
stole my Mo line right from under me pres, shit wasnt there in the original blog
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by belichickscup on June 21, 2012 at 11:55 am
You rant truly from boston until you've thrown up on the t, then you know your a real mass hole. My first time was this year, right on some bitch who was trying to draw one me
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by Medways Finest on June 21, 2012 at 11:55 am
the balding hair description was a little unnecessary. didn't Willis Reed only score 2 points in the Willis Reed game? So hopefully Bron Bron does have a Willis Reed game.
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by paul the pot eater on June 21, 2012 at 11:59 am
Pres owes Spinna a footnote. He jacked him, jacked him for real.
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by Evil One on June 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Maybe if you hadn't been such a dick and let Jerry drive we wouldn't be having this conversation.How the fuck did he get his left arm to do that ?
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by City of Legends on June 21, 2012 at 1:18 pm
gotta love the sign behind the kid "What is wrong with this picture"!
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by bdemps15 on June 21, 2012 at 3:19 pm
It was nice that his friends took pictures of him and then left him on the subway to die.
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by wilburham on June 21, 2012 at 3:58 pm
The first picture is crazy dude looks triple jointed
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by mccish13 on June 21, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Is that Kareem?
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by MillarsMuffintop on June 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Bro's bustin out some p90x. Do Your Best and Forget the Rest.
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by CANCEL PHILLY SITE on June 21, 2012 at 5:12 pm
This guys lucky gaystoolie didn't find him and just start sucking his prick
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by DoyleBrunsonsSaggySack on June 21, 2012 at 5:32 pm
That absolutely no one picked up the "call a spade a spade" line and ran with it makes me question the integrity of todays youth.
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