Hey Pres I love your style. Love the purple starfish swag. Love your nose. Love your lumpy neck. Love everything about you. So if the Bruins win the Cup tonight do you think the First Lady will give you a pass and we can fuck? Let me know…
XOXO B’s and Stoolie Groupie
Okay I admit that I may have made up some of the above email. But this chick did send me this picture of herself in B’s gear just a couple minutes ago. So how else can you interpret this? She must want some Prezzy dick right? And I’m pretty sure all the normal rules of marriage and fidelity go right out the window when a major sports team wins a championship. So yes! Yes, I will fuck this girl brains out if the B’s win the cup! America!