EXETER, NH — Police and school officials have confirmed the existence of an original screenplay filled with sexually explicit scenes and vulgar language involving teachers and students that was purportedly authored by three teachers under investigation at Exeter High School. In a statement to the school community issued Thursday morning, Superintendent Michael Morgan confirmed that the screenplay was discovered during their investigation. “Reportedly this manuscript has been shared with the media and may be viewed by some as controversial. You may hear more about this matter which I am not at liberty to discuss at this time,” he wrote. The screenplay, obtained by the New Hampshire Union Leader, is called “Graduation Crashers” and features numerous scenes with teachers and students engaged in inappropriate conduct, including a sex act being performed on a teacher in exchange for giving a woman’s son a passing grade. Another scene involves a teacher who “grabs a joint” from a student and “takes a hit and nods his head in approval,” according to the manuscript. Police Chief Richard Kane confirmed that the screenplay is now part of their police investigation that began in April when a social studies teacher was placed on administrative leave after a student alleged that she had been sexually assaulted in 2009… The teacher involved in the initial investigation quit on May 24 while a second resigned Wednesday. Kane confirmed that all three teachers are part of an “active criminal investigation” being conducted at the high school.
Criticize these three teachers all you want. Tell me their out of their frigging minds to be writing a screenplay about teachers getting head from student’s moms in exchange for grades when one of them is under investigation for molesting a girl. Tell me they’re insane to be fantasizing about smoking weed with students when the heat is on them. Tell me they’re committing career suicide with this crap. Just don’t tell me you don’t want to see “Graduation Crashers.” It sounds spectacular. Like if they could do it right, it could be the first great high school sex comedy in decades. An “American Pie” for the Sex Scandal Teacher generation. I’d say it’s a shame they got caught before they got this thing finished, but it could be the best thing that ever happened to them. Hopefully they’ll get fired so they can get back to work on this magnum opus and make “Graduation Crashers” a reality so they can move to LA and get all the teenage girls a Hollywood screenwriter can bang, instead of living the frustrated life of a horndog New Hampshire public school teacher. Bravo, you perverts. Bravo.
PS. Has the definitive SST movie been made yet? I can’t think of one. It seems like such a natural and would be guaranteed huge box office. Something like the “Jerry’s book report” scene from “3 O’clock High”:
…only two hours long and with tons of gratuitous female nudity. I think I might have just found my calling. @JerryThornton1