Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
Let me start by saying Tom is THAT friend, the guy that will wear sweat pants to a party, go weeks without shaving his red pube beard, and also wears the same three shirts: Hogworks Offensive lineman camp shirt, SHS Colonials shirt, and our Football spring combine shirt that we got our Junior year of high school. The kid goes to Emmanuel, so the large percentage of women there have forced him to learn what a button-down shirt is at least. But he still needs some work, when he gets weirded out he tends to chew Redman awkwardly in the corner. That is when we call him “Awkward Tom”. He is a great guy though who is also notably Canadian and a die hard Senators fan, and is also randomly a Packers fan without ever living anywhere close to Wisconsin, but hey, you gotta love his passion.
Please help out our friend, we’re hoping this will offically turn Tom from “Awkward Tom” into “Classy Tom”.
Viva la Stool,
Dylan & Mike