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Miltons Pimp My Look

Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.

Today’s Contestant

Reader Email

Hey idiots,

So I have a fucking plethora of style as you will see below. So technically yes, I don’t actually need to be pimped. However, I am graduating next semester and I am going to be a sports reporter (TV) so I would love to get a ton of nice suits on Miltons dime. I will break down the pics for you.

BELOW: Red pants. Douche as fuck, funny as fuck. Boat shoes with socks??? Yep my fucking feet sweat get off my back bro. I was wearing pants you couldn’t even tell I had socks on. Genius and intuitive. Last one. Do I need to describe it really? its fucking swagtastic . GQ esque!

P.S. On the last one I know the tag was still on the GQ pic I had to model it before I was positive i was going to keep them. PPS. is this the douchest thing ever? sending pictures of myself to try and pimp my own look?

(871 votes, average: 1.73 out of 10)

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By feitelberg posted August 17th, 2012 at 3:25 PM

Top 2 Comments

47 comments Sort by Popularity Sort by Date

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by natkingcole on August 17, 2012 at 3:29 pm

fuck this kid
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by above_the_clouds on August 17, 2012 at 3:30 pm

0% chance he is on TV. This kid is certifiably ugly. Not just tv ugly.
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by SoftAsSatinDavidPatten on August 17, 2012 at 3:31 pm

is that fuckin Colonel Winters from Band of Brothers? ...cant be
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by rcht2370 on August 17, 2012 at 3:32 pm

should be 1-10 "should this plug get his ass whipped"
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by bridogggy on August 17, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I miss the fat chick that won a few weeks back. This guy is such a tool he's not even worth laughing at.
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by pussymonster on August 17, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Dude looks like a ventriloquist dummy in the last picture.
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by jmal33 on August 17, 2012 at 3:35 pm

kid has different hair cuts in each picture.....meaning this kid just didnt snap a few quick pics to make a joke of himself to hopefully get some new gear he actually had these three pictures sitting around from periods of his life
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by pussymonster on August 17, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Or maybe it just looks like he has some dude's fist up his ass. Can't really tell either way.
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by 4guys1barstool on August 17, 2012 at 3:37 pm

i thought gays only worked on fashion or reality shows
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by natkingcole on August 17, 2012 at 3:37 pm

the second picture makes me want to feed him to a pack of direwolves
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by SoftAsSatinDavidPatten on August 17, 2012 at 3:37 pm

good detective work @jmal33.
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by mcm1 on August 17, 2012 at 3:40 pm

a real man's man here....he is definitely not a gay
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by rp on August 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm

what a fucking dork...i wanna smash his face in
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by carlsweetchuck on August 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Forget the clothes. Does Milton's implant chins and cover horse teeth?
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by nepats1001 on August 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm

This kid is definitly gay
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by carlsweetchuck on August 17, 2012 at 3:44 pm

That's his nana's couch behind him. I banged her on it.
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by macabroni on August 17, 2012 at 3:45 pm

bro, you're a fucked up version of Damian Lewis http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0507073/#Actor
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by got-heeem on August 17, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I'm guessing he is going to be a High School sports reporter......right?
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by brodhisattva on August 17, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Are you fucking kidding me? Is this all that gets sent in now or something. What a fucking goober
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by 4guys1barstool on August 17, 2012 at 3:56 pm

also, way to shove your cock in that dude's face in the second pic, you unimaginable faggot
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by Freckles McGee on August 17, 2012 at 4:11 pm

don't even try to tell me that's not John Lackey on the AIDS Diet.
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by nawtymassarawty on August 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Kid needs a swift kick to the balls
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by unclekevin on August 17, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Silas Weir Mitchell anyone? That's his fucking son right?
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by shameonme on August 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm

why the long face?
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by shameonme on August 17, 2012 at 4:44 pm

feitelberg, is this your brother?
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by reeb on August 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

This guy is a retarded version of Dirk Nowitski who is already all sorts of retarded.
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by kylepaulnovashea on August 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

You look sharp bro, let them haters hate
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by Reverend30 on August 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Looks like the kid from Waiting - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0197855/ - someone should run him over with a car.
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by vinted2k on August 17, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I'm surprised this stickfagala isn't a writer for barstool sports. I think this queer is Neil's boyfriend.
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by gus watab on August 17, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I suppose he bleaches his cinnamon ring too huh? What a fuckin Summers Eve Bag!
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by rp on August 17, 2012 at 5:06 pm

god, i hope this toolbag is reading these comments...also, i hope he dies a slow painful death
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by homelessjerry on August 17, 2012 at 5:58 pm

There's a 0% chance this kid doesn't go to Brighton College
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by cityofchamps on August 17, 2012 at 6:17 pm

unclekevin got it right, definitely haywire from prison break
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by hatefest on August 17, 2012 at 6:32 pm

what a fag. kid is so poor he has to return the pants after his mandate. how you don't get male sauce on them.
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by The Larcenist on August 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Even though he's ugly and a doucher, looks pretty good considering he has AIDS.
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by lovethatpageviews on August 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm

He needs to be beaten severely
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by classless on August 17, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Troll article.
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by slutnuts4 on August 17, 2012 at 8:08 pm

no doubt this guy's ex girlfriend's new boyfriend found these on her camera and made an example of ichibod crane up there
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by Falcon Boy 4 President on August 17, 2012 at 9:08 pm

You know how I know he's gay? Ah fuck it isn't it obvious?
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by Falcon Boy 4 President on August 17, 2012 at 9:09 pm

You know how I know he's gay? Ah fuck it isn't it obvious?
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by naztea on August 17, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Yeah...be a sports reporter...if by "be a sports reporter" you mean blowing dudes through holes in the wall at mediocre golf clubs for free drinks and half a months rent then yeah, I can already see the "sports reporter" in him
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by summersevedisposable on August 18, 2012 at 1:12 am

Nice hairline bro, Pres even has more hair than you.
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by trubbb on August 18, 2012 at 11:28 am

Looks like the crazy guy from Prison Break. http://content7.flixster.com/question/43/98/07/4398073_std.jpg This guy wants to be a sports reporter? What is his favorite sport, tennis? Kid's a homo
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by massholio prime on August 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Pimp his lid. Teeth like he should be building a dam with his flat tailed family. Forget Miltons hook this kid up with Unique Dental Care
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by gambit69 on August 20, 2012 at 12:07 am

who's the dick bag that took the photos?
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by bostonworm on August 20, 2012 at 8:45 am

FUck this snobby doucheball homo prickface
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by oberlieutenant on August 22, 2012 at 11:13 am

Perfect example of a douchebag in dire need of a clawhammer to the face.
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