(Caller) – Looking for a good paying job? Well, look no further. No, really, stop looking. In 35 states, welfare benefits pay more than a minimum wage job, according to a new study by the libertarian Cato Institute, and in 13 states welfare pays more than $15 per hour. “One of the single best ways to climb out of poverty is taking a job, but as long as welfare provides a better standard of living than an entry-level job, recipients will continue to choose it over work,” said Michael Tanner, senior policy analyst and co-author of the study. Despite efforts to curb welfare spending, many welfare programs and benefits have continued to outpace the income that many workers can receive for working an entry-level job, which disincentivizes work, according to the study. “The current welfare system provides such a high level of benefits that it acts as a disincentive for work,” reads the study. “Welfare currently pays more than a minimum-wage job in 35 states, even after accounting for the Earned Income Tax Credit, and in 13 states it pays more than $15 per hour.” Welfare recipients in Hawaii get the most benefits, according to Tanner, at $29.13 per hour — or $60,590 pre-tax income annually. However, the state’s minimum wage is only $7.25 per hour, according to the Labor Department. Hawaiians on welfare also earn 167 percent of the median salary in the state, which is only $36,275. The District of Columbia, Massachusetts and Connecticut have the next more generous welfare benefits. D.C. welfare recipients can earn $24.43 per hour. In Massachusetts they can get $24.30 per hour. In Connecticut welfare recipients can receive $21.33 per hour.
A ton of people say working for Barstool isn’t a “real” job. And for the most part, I get that. I get that my job is basically doing what people do when they take a break from work in the cube, and I’m very grateful for it. But, it still technically is a job. I still have to get up in the morning 5 days a week and go to the office, I still have a boss who hassles me, I still have co-workers I have to deal with, customers who complain and lots of work-related stress. At the end of the day, my job isn’t waking up whenever I want then getting shitfaced with my friends all day while we play videogames.
And now you’re telling me the people who actually do that, who just do nothing all day, make MORE than I do?! Not a close amount, not the same amount, you’re saying they make MORE than my broke ass? Get the fuck out of my face, Massachusetts. That’s some genuine bullshit. But, like they always say: don’t get mad, get even. Uncle Sam wants to pay my “hard-earned” cash to everyone living on the other side of Mass Ave in Roxbury? OK. Fine by me. I’ll just quit my job and move to Hawaii. Chill on Waikiki Beach with a new watch, a Jesus chain and not a care in the world besides Melanoma. Sip rum punch, catch choice rays and rake in a healthy $60,590 annually. If that sounds like the good life that’s because it is. Aloha, motherfuckers!