And the answer is Bar Refaeli. No joke I’m convinced Bar Refaeli is my soulmate. Like I know it makes no sense but honest to god I think I’d have a chance with her if I ever met her. I have everything she’s probably looking for in a dude. Jewish, funny, huge dick, slightly balding, kind of fat etc. It would be like Marissa Tomei and George Costanza. In fact I think I’d dump the First Lady just if I knew I was going to be in the same room with me. That’s how confident I am that if I was given the opportunity I could wifey her. I feel it in my plums.