And the answer is pro surfer Alanna Blanchard. I’m convinced Alanna Blanchard is my soulmate. It’s like god created this masterpiece just for me. A perfect ass and a surfer. Like I just pictures spending countless hours in exotic locations dropping in on waves together and then having her brush her hand through my surfer hair while we fuck under the star till sunrise and then do it all over again. It’s actually really depressing that this isn’t happening right now. Almost like I’m wasting my life with this smut blogging stuff when I should be shredding the gnar with Alanna.