Barstool Sports

Texas – A science teacher has been jailed after having sex multiple times with one of her students at various hotels near her home. Rachelle Nicole Heenan, a married mother of two, carried on the affair for several months until colleagues tipped off police about the illicit relationship. Heenan, 34, is alleged to have struck up the friendship with the teenager after she began sending text messages to him.Investigators said the pair met up outside a local gym in March where the relationship turned physical. Later they checked into a hotel in Fort Worth, Texas, where they had sex for the first time.  The sexual encounters continued for several months with the pair checking into hotels after school and at the weekend…  Even though the alleged victim in this case is legally an adult …[i]mproper relationship between educators and students is a second-degree felony… Heenan’s page on the school’s website says she has been married for ten years and has two young children. Soon after arriving at the school, she wrote that she ‘cannot wait to show the kids all the cool things in forensics… In my spare time, I am usually spending time with my family, hunting or shopping.’

According to ForensicScience.net, The word “forensic” applies to the use of scientific methods and techniques to investigate a crime and help resolve legal issues in a court of law. So Rachelle wasn’t kidding when she said he couldn’t wait to show the kids the “cool things” in it.  I mean like a lot of her students, I’ve seen my fair share of CSIs.  And let’s face it, no one really gets interested in this stuff because they want to see hair samples or skin under the victim’s fingernails or the pattern of burn marks on a wall.  The fun forensics is all about bodily fluids.  Blood.  Saliva.  Vaginal juices.  Semen.  Mostly semen.  Puddles, streams, tributaries, rivers, oceans of semen.  And if all those CSIs taught me anything it’s that the bedspreads in sleazy no-tell motels like the ones in Mrs. Heenan went to are a virtual petri dish of other guys’ boy butter.  Wave a black light over those things and they look like a Jackson Pollack painting.  By swapping DNA with this kid, all she was doing was giving him a forensic education he’s never going to get sitting in a classroom.

The Grades:
Looks: Obviously she could look better.  I wouldn’t suggest anyone hire the Ft Worth PD to take their high school yearbook picture.  But get this little Texas Cowgirl dolled up and I’ll bet she’s a poor man’s Reese Witherspoon.  She doesn’t knock it out of the park but she’s at least worth a Grade: B.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: I don’t know what the legal age is in Texas, but unless it’s like 13 she loses points on that score.  On the other hand, cheating on your husband with a teenage science geek who’s biggest dream in life before you came along was to get superpowers from a radioactive spider counts for something.  Grade: B-.
Intangibles: Rachelle “The Brain” Heenan.  Also, Horatio Caine voice, putting on sunglasses: “‘Family, hunting and shopping’? Sounds more like ‘Feeling, humping and boffing…’” Yeeeaaahhh!!! Grade: A
Overall:  B.
(Thanks to @WindyCitiSports) Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students?  Preferably with pictures? Help your fellow man by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.