Source – A drunk Colorado man has been arrested after attempting to ride a horse 600 miles to his brother’s wedding with a dog in his rucksack and a beer in his saddlebag. Patrick Neal Schumacher was stopped by police on Monday after he was seen weaving in and out of traffic while riding his horse Dillon through the city of Boulder, Colorado, it is claimed. The 45-year-old, who was spotted ‘slumped’ on the animal at around 2.14pm, was asked to dismount by officers and given a field sobriety test, which he failed. He was also discovered to be carrying a pug named Bufford in his backpack and a small black powder pistol and beer in one of his saddlebags. Schumacher, from Colorado Springs, told University of Colorado police he was trying to make a 600-mile journey from Larkspur to Bryce, Utah, to attend his brother’s wedding. He said he had decided to make the trip by horseback as he had previously lost his driver’s licence.
Love this dude’s whole persona. The ambition, the confidence, the dog, the alcoholism. It all fits so well together. This is a guy who you automatically want to be friends with. Just grill meat, drink beers, and pet dogs and horses with him all day. Get a little taste of that frontier life. Eat beef jerky and chop wood and shit. You know Patrick Neal Schumacher eats so much beef jerk and chops so much wood. You just know it.
And you also know the he didn’t let a little thing like a horse DUI stop him from getting to his brother’s wedding 600 miles away. Dude probably bailed himself out, grabbed a handle of whiskey and snowshoed to the ceremony. License? Who needs a fucking license? As long as he’s drunk with his dog by his side then nothing can stop him. Not the cops, not a confiscated horse, not not being able to stand up straight, nothing.