true mogul would have a water cooler full of champagne
El Pres for El Mayor 13!
That’s not very nice mayoral language.
At the end of the day, us Stoolies always get our way. Now about that Wake Up with Renee Portnoy…
it makes me feel warm inside knowing how much our comments anger you
Nice place you got there
I don’t think there’s a dirty enough slut in the world who would get on her knees for a politician in that Indian slum of an “office”.
I’m not even gonna watch this shit….. Just want to point out thAt you’re facility is a complete shit hole. Are you poor bro?
you couldn’t get your beek through that door sideways. you got my vote.
I know a couple Mexican cleaning ladies that take internet dollars.
“Its me Stevie, Stevie Janowski, we went to highschool school together”
Did you break the news to your campaign manager that its no more schoolboy regular haircuts, surfer hair only on Team Pizza Mayor?
Neil would of gladly took that job.
Pres i don’t mean to be insensitive but it’s time to move on… you’ve raised enough money, you don’t need to worry about raising campaign money instead of money for victimes
All the candidate has to do is show ass and tits from your site in a campaign ad, and you lost about 85% of the votes.
Be the opposite of Anne Frank. She hid from her opponents and look what happened to her. Quit being a pussy and stop asking us for money you kike
Maker’s Mark – A+
“If you guys want me to run for mayor, I’ll run for mayor. You guys are gonna have to donate.” – Now THAT’S an inspiring slogan I can get behind!
If I lived in Boston I would obviously 100% vote for you, but god I hope you are prepared for this. The competition has a TON of fucking ammo to smear you with.
El Pizzabrain: If you become mayor, you’ll be able to do 1,000,000 times more financially for the victims of the bombing than you can as the head of a smut website. So, please stop the I-don’t-want-to-spend-charity-money line of reasoning. No one is buying that crap. Show how smart a Michigan Man allegedly is.
This last hour is a struggle. I need more Mayor videos to stop working.
I’m moving to Boston this summer, you got my vote, lets do this shit
I’m buying a tshirt, moving to Boston, and registering to vote, just to vote for you.
If you get elected you better hold your actual pres conferences just like this one
Jews and being guilty for asking for money is like blacks being guilty for collecting welfare. One plus one will never equal four.
Is it possible to gradually contract Downs/ I’m pretty sure that you are.
On another note if i had to “work” in a place with spray painted sheets and boxes full of tshirts thrown around next to me….never mind, I’d never do that.
If I’m turning 18 by November 17th but I’ll be 17 when he needs a signature can I give him one?
You can still blog when you’re Mayor though, right? I don’t need you holding up the funny because you’re busy scheduling curbside trash pickup for the masses.
got my vote.
GOLD. Funniest video blog to date. Book it.
Can you hold a press conference for pizza reviews?
You should make a video of your team trying to collect the 3000 signatures of registered Boston voters you need to appear on the ballot. Pure gold I’m sure.
The Jew in you must have been furious that you had to waste a bowl and use if for a microphone stand.
Also, Can we stop pretending the campaign manager guy has an actual office? No need to make him walk thru the doorway to the podium when the guy doesn’t actually have a fucking wall blocking the view into his cubby.
I need a bumper sticker and I needed it yesterday.
We need daily press conferences from the Stool, and we needed them yesterday! Oh…thanks.
Your ‘headquarters’ looks like shit.
@jimmydistoolio shouldn’t you be at your babysitter’s house right now?
can these please be called prez conferences? get it? prez? ha. haha. ha
can I do absentee non Boston resident living in Los Angeles voter registration? Pres, I will run your West Coast bureau…..Smokes for months out here (and PS – bald spot is getting huge)
Please post Seth the campaign managers resume in a blog. I need to know where you found that clown and I needed to know yesterday.
Like most great men I believe your internet browsing history will be your ultimate undoing.
It’ll take only one simple thing to derail your candidacy: a bucket of buttered popcorn.
This should be fun to watch. Not a Boston voter (or even Mass for that matter) but I have some Curly cousins down your way. I’ll see what I can do.
I don’t know why these are so funny but they are. Fuck me.
these water cooler press conference need to be a weekly thing. fucking hilarious
So Barstool HQ is a former Dentist office?
Can jews be mayor in Boston?…Go Bruins…i miss Neil
I want an answer Pres, I’m almost positive this was filmed from the Warsaw ghetto.
Fandango’s entrance music has to be played at all your campaign rallies, just too perfect
The fandango music was a nice touch. My day today has consisted of sending in a video of skeletor yelling kneel/Neil, and acknowledging I recognized a wrestlers theme music during your press conference. I may need to re-evaluate my life. But yes, I’ll vote for you.
my mom dances like that
When you dropped the “I don’t even know who the fuck this guy is” line I burst into laughter. Shitting on his haircut was a nice touch too.
Fandango really is an inspired choice by Feitelberg there, he’s the biggest troll in the WWE and Prez will be the biggest troll (literally and figuratively) in the race for Mayor
Love the passion Pres. Fired up! Ready to go!
putting that bumper sticker on my 50cc scooter. gonna have all the hoes leakin’.
So these press conferences are the new thing?
Will be the first time I’ve ever voted and I can’t fucking wait.
“And stay tuned next week when Hoarders visits the dilapidated headquarters of self proclaimed intranet mogul and creator of Barstool Sports, David Portnoy.”
I’m legitimately disappointed at the way pres said “el mayor”. In my head it was el may-OR all spanish like
Have people realized this? If he wins then it will be the end of barstool. It’ll be like he went on vacation for 4 years. And you know how great the vacation blogs are.
It’s cool that you guys set up shop in some hoarders house
@dewiggla Why would you be an asshole? Just answer my fucking question.
Yo Pres, come to Arlington, VA bro. I’ll buy you a Mad Dog.
I’ll be buying a dozen El Mayor shirts and naming my softball team El Mayors.
Keep doing you Dave, got my vote.
Calling yourself a hero is very unherolike
Hot damn that’s pure gold.
Ummm so this was so my idea, can’t you give me some credit pres???
This is preposterous pres, not even a shout out during your presser??! This has got to be one of the 5 greatest travesties in the history of the world!
PS if you are serious about stool LA, I’m “The Guy”…hell, my friends are even calling me BigCat 2.0
How long has it been since your parents disowned you??
@jimmydistoolio We’re not a bunch of voter register sign-up douches. Look that shit up yourself like an adult
@hairyscrotum Why don’t you talk to me like am adult instead of being an asshole like a child
@hairyscrotum I just figured I’d see if anyone here knows so I don’t have to search like an idiot on google
Seth also works part time at the Bluth Banana stand
feits is such a puppet
A scooter club documentary in Virginia? and here I was thinking that my day sucks…
@jimmydstoolio..Definitely need to fuck your twin sister before she turns 18..When did you say your birthday was? November?
@hayelingonmyface I have an 11 year old brother that you can fuck you damn rapist.
Never planned to run, still don’t. Although I’d love to see it happen along with all the other drunks in New England. Which is everybody born here. Do it, you won’t. Pussy.
Dude, the drunker i get the funnier you get. Maker’s FTW!!
The only thing that could have made that video any better was a pizza review at the end.
If someone made a gay porno flick, that’s the music they’d use.
I need more pizza reviews like Bruce Dickinson needs more cowbell.
Think you gotta move to Boston first dude. That should be 2nd on your list behind cleaning that shithole
moving to boston just so i can vote
I didn’t listen to the audio but by the looks of it that was a hoarders episode, right?
why do you care about the money? youre not the one paying for it. cheap jew always worried about a penny.
WE HAVE SPOKEN
BRING US THE ONE NAMED RENEE PORTNOY
This needs to be a weekly thing. Dying over these “press conferences.” Maybe field live questions like a real one.
Clean your place up Pres. That’s embarrassing.
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Case Study June 2013