LAKE CITY, Fla. — The battle for pizza supremacy has taken a wrong turn in Florida. Two managers of a Domino’s Pizza restaurant in Lake City, in north-central Florida, have been charged with burning down a rival Papa John’s location. The motive? Police say one of the men admitted that he believed with his competitor out of the way, more pizza lovers would flock to his restaurant. The Papa John’s was gutted in the Oct. 20 fire. Sean Everett Davidson, 23, and Bryan David Sullivan, 22 were arrested Thursday and Friday, respectively, and booked on an arson charge each and were being held in jail. The Star-Banner of Ocala reports that police are still looking for an ignition device that the men claimed they made but did not use to start the fire. Police said the suspects described a device made out of a clock, a nine-volt battery, a golf ball-size amount of black gunpowder and a plastic bag, the newspaper reported.
You have to respect these guys. There’s nothing worse than someone who doesn’t give their all on the job. Whether it be a professional athlete who just goes out there and collects a paycheck or a fast food employee who makes it abundantly clear that they don’t want to be there, it’s fucking infuriating. Just do your job. And that’s exactly what Sean Everett Davidson and Bryan David Sullivan did. They saw the competition and they took it out. Hats off to them. Artisan pizzas and lava cakes and Kickers aren’t going to keep you on top of the game forever. Sometimes you gotta go above and beyond. And who better to screw than fucking Papa John? Is there anybody more insufferable than that prick? He’s like a pizza politician: too clean, smile too wide, seems too nice. Preaching how he’s All-American by still driving the Camaro he used to deliver pizzas in, filming commercials where he’s hitting halfcourt shots or tossing the football with the neighborhood kids. Fuck that. The Papa has some dark skeletons in his closet and I know it, Sean knows it, and Bryan knows it. So they did the only sensible thing, they created a bomb that sounds like something Wily Coyote would throw at the Road Runner and they stuck it right in his better ingredients. Hey so what if the only thing worse than being a manager at a Domino’s is being in prison, these guys were willing to risk it. If you don’t respect that, then what do you respect?
PS – how great would these guys be at blogging? Dedicated as shit. Blogging at 2 AM, stalking the shit out of girls on the book, pissing all over the door of BroBibles office right before they blow it up. Hell, they’d probably even hand out newspapers at South Station at 5:30 AM. I’ll tell you what they wouldn’t do though, and that’s cozy up with Zollo and Devlin in a car on I-84 in the middle of fucking Snowtober.