Barstool Sports

(Aro) – A lecturer who asked a female student to stuff a pie down his pants has been struck off by Scotland’s teaching watchdog. Gavin Bradford, 37, asked other girls to smear themselves in ketchup and eggs and pour sour milk into their underwear. In the bizarre exchanges, which happened online late at night when Bradford was teaching in Canada, he asked more than 20 girls — some as young as 12 — to switch on their webcams so he could watch them. The General Teaching Council (GTC) panel heard that Bradford told one girl he would “take delight in slowly pushing a gooey pie in her face” and asked two others to make a video of them urinating. He also told students his favourite swear words and demonstrated using them in a sentence. The Ontario Discipline Committee panel, which revoked Bradford’s teaching certificate in November 2011, said: “The behaviour may have started out innocently but escalated to the point of using vulgar language and making improper suggestions of an explicit sexual nature.”

Aside from the unemployed aspect of his life, I envy Gavin Bradford. I’m sure it’s one of those things like tall people envying shorter people and vice versa but I don’t care. I just kind of wish I was a sexual deviant who could get off just by looking at food. Because to me eating is a disgusting experience. Everyone chewing with their mouths open and scratching their forks on their plates and shit. It honestly makes me sick to sit there and see people stuffing their face. Not Gavin Bradford though. The more particles of chewed up food that come flying out of your mouth the harder he gets. You get a piece of greens caught in your teeth during the first course and he’s already fired one out under the table before it’s time to use the desert spoon. I’m sure it’s a grass is always greener situation but I’d rather be the guy fantasizing about everyone rubbing mashed potatoes all over their tits and not the guy who seethes with anger every time someone talks with their mouthful.

PS – when Gavin Bradford hears about cake farts he is literally going to cum a mile

Double PS – cake farts is still one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. I was just in tears. That video is the absolute definition of the internet being the internet.