» Does This Look Like the Face of A “Sea Hag” Who Shot A Guy Dead When He Wouldn’t Give Her A Beer? Barstool Sports: Boston

Does This Look Like the Face of A “Sea Hag” Who Shot A Guy Dead When He Wouldn’t Give Her A Beer?

Orlandosentinal - A 62-year-old Conch Key woman who the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office says is known as “the sea hag” is accused of fatally shooting a man who refused to give her a beer. The incident happened Sunday night at a home on North Conch Avenue in the Middle Keys.According to the Sheriff’s Office, Carolyn Dukeshire shot Martin Mazur five times in the abdomen, back and arm when she asked for a beer and he refused.

Wikipedia Definitions of a Sea Hag

Sea Hag – A hideous woman found on a cruise ship
Sea Hag – A woman that looks as though she has been ravaged by years at sea.

I know what everybody is thinking. Hey Pres I thought you didn’t talk about stories where people died and shit. Yes that’s true. So why did I post this? For two reasons. First just as a lesson to all the kids out there. When a Sea Hag walks up to you and asks you for a beer you give it to the Sea Hag 100% of the time. Sea Hags don’t fuck around. They’ll just open fire on your ass like it ain’t no thing. #2. This is a public service announcement for anybody looking to move to the Keys and become a Sea Hag. It looks like there is a job opening. I just feel like it’s not everyday a Sea Hag position becomes available. Got to jump on it when it’s hot.

By elpresidente posted July 30th, 2012 at 10:54 AM

Top 2 Comments

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by otwisted on July 30, 2012 at 11:10 am
Randy "The Ram"
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by klusk66 on July 30, 2012 at 11:11 am
"OWEN! FOOD! (In a minute Momma)... Don't you 'in a minute, Momma' me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly god damn it! And don't burn the toast!
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by 3pink2stink on July 30, 2012 at 11:36 am
The Sea Hag and her Goons were characters on the old Popeye cartoons. This one's uglier than the cartoon character. She'll do well in prison though.
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by istooledonu on July 30, 2012 at 12:37 pm
+1 for guns! sweet sweet guns! gotta lovem! unless you've been murdered. what i dont get is how margaritaville-ish the area is. should be chillin 24/7.
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by Dino Bravo on July 30, 2012 at 1:29 pm
9.9735 You can tell el pres' posts without even looking to see. That's funny shit. Absolutely correct. DO NOT deny a sea hag beer unless you have a death wish.
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by surferhair on July 30, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Yes, yes it does
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by Uncle Buttchucker on July 30, 2012 at 3:09 pm
El Pres looks like Al Melchior from CBS fantasy baseball. He's a Jew too!
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by Harry Johnson on July 30, 2012 at 3:10 pm
I'll bet she has a peg leg, but doesn't use it for it's intended purpose, if you catch my drift...
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by meowmix on July 30, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Must be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway
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by DoyleBrunsonsSaggySack on July 30, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Looks like Mama Fratelli is headed back to the clink.
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