Barstool Sports

(TwinCities) – A woman at a St. Paul bus stop told police Wednesday, “I’ve seen a lot on University Avenue, but never anything like this.” The 30-year-old woman, who was sitting at the corner of University and Marion Street, called 911 after seeing a man pull up in a car in front of her. Minutes later, officers near University Avenue were told by a dispatcher to look out for “a white male in a red pickup performing oral sex on a white dildo.” Cars behind the man had been honking their horns, trying to get him to move, the woman added. Plus, there were kids around, she said. After pulling over Brian Wutschke, 45, of Farmington, police searched the interior of his truck and found a sex toy under a flannel shirt. They also noted several pairs of women’s panties strewn around the interior, including hanging from the rear-view mirror and the gear shift. When they performed a pat-down search of the man and reached “the waistline area,” officers could feel something vibrating. The man then informed them he also had a sex toy inserted inside him. The officers drove Wutschke to the jail, hearing the sex toy still vibrating on the plastic seats of their squad car. Sheriff officials at the jail removed it as they were booking him, but as of late Wednesday nobody was comfortable turning it off. “They’ll just let the batteries run out,” Anderson said.

Can somebody explain blowing a dildo to me? One of the most, if not the most, inexplicable moves in porn. Just no fun for anybody. No one is getting an ounce of pleasure out of it. So I had no idea it was something people not on a Brazzers set would do. That’s the mark of a true psycho. Like it’s one thing if you’re getting paid a ton of money to have a 9 inch rubber dick shoved down your throat. But to turn your driver’s seat into an ideepthroat.com set at a red light because you couldn’t wait to tickle your own tonsils until you got home? Insane. The rest of it makes perfect sense to me. If I was gay I’d probably walk around with a vibrator in my ass 24/7 and make fun of all the straight dudes who weren’t getting off at all times. But I can’t get past the blowing of a dildo. Only thing more boring than a dildo/strap-on BJ is a titty cumshot. Don’t waste my fucking time with either.

PS – big time hardo move by the cops with the vibrator. Oh i’ll pull the thing out of his ass but I’m not turning it off.