Barstool Sports

Amherst – All that two Amherst men are accused of doing wrong Wednesday is hitting a school bus, fleeing, switching seats, returning to the scene and, in one case, fighting police. And being on drugs while they did it. That’s what Merrimack police say went down beginning around 3 p.m. Wednesday when they were called to the intersection of Cross Street and Amherst Road for a minor accident involving a school bus, police said. Witnesses told police a van had hit the bus and then left the scene heading west on Amherst Road. Police determined no one on the bus had been injured and then, using the registration information jotted down by witnesses, spotted the same van driving by the scene and were able to stop it, police said. Jonathan Palmer, 21, of 68 Profile Circle, was driving and Christian Benjamin, 20, of 7 Timber Chase, was a passenger. Police later learned the pair had switched positions following the crash, police said. While talking to the men, officers noticed signs of impairment from both. They were arrested and charged for operating under the influence of drugs. Benjamin was also charged with conduct after an accident and Palmer faces four counts of simple assault for allegedly punching two officers, police said.

I feel like there’s such a bad stigma attached to school bus related incidents. Regular car accidents happen all the time but as soon as people hear the word school bus it’s like a national tragedy. Get over yourself school buses, you ain’t that cool.

Anyway, with these two guys I think their biggest misstep was being on drugs, crashing their van, fleeing the scene, returning to the scene and fighting the cops. If I had to pinpoint where they went wrong, I think that would be it. And what’s up with switching seats? Did they think nobody would notice their car if it was a different driver? Classic drug logic. Also, could that dude on the left look like he’s from Amherst any more? Kid is like the poster child for Amherst bros. Shaggy hair, denim jacket, stupid beard, high as fuck. Literally just sums up men from Amherst in one picture.  Way to rep the hood fellas. (Not being sarcastic. I think it’s a right of passage in Amherst to get arrested for drugs.)