(HuffPo) – It’s the little things that matter. At least that’s the case in a Denmark-based competition that is offering an iPhone to the man with the smallest penis. The contest is sponsored by erotica website Singlesex.dk, and site owner Morten Fabricius admits the idea is “weird and funny and almost too much.” “It’s a competition which is at the core of manhood, the most important thing for a man,” he said, according to RawStory.com. “There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one.” Contestants are asked to send a photo to the website of their erect sex organ with measuring tape next to it. The man with the smallest penis will win an iPhone, as will another fellow who will be chosen by the site’s female, er, members. Guys who come in second and third place will get an iPad.
Imagine being the guy who comes in last place in this thing? What a fucking feeling that must be. Literally king of the baby dicks. Like if you even consider entering this then you’ve obviously walked around your entire life with a pretty sizable penis complex. Imagine finding out you were wrong all along and actually have a missile down there? That’s the real winner. Keep your iPhone and iPads bros. I’ll just peacock around town like Bob from the Enzyte commercials knowing that when it comes to micro-penises, I’ve got the biggest one. Shit if I wasn’t so worried about accidentally winning I’d probably enter just for the confidence boost.
PS – I googled “small penis” to get a pic. Tons of pictured of Enrique Iglesias. Having your pic pop up on page one of a Google image search for “small penis” has to be one of the worst things imaginable. Probably would just kill myself if I were him.